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| Contents |
Issue No. 303 -- 11 October 2004 |
Editor's Message
Quote/s of the Week
Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week
Bits and Bobs
The Legal Beagle
Help Desk
Where are they now?
Club and Other News
Humour
Recipes
Sports News
Credits and Contact Info
Subscribing and Unsubscribing
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Back at last! Seems like Captain Ken and myself were away for ages. It was a great trip and we saw all our friends and family but it was extremely hectic. We were chasing hurricanes in Florida - our sympathy to anyone who lost property or sustained damage during that time - and managed to cover Massachusetts, Indiana, both sides of Florida, South Carolina, New Hampshire, down to New Jersey for Captain Ken's daughter's wedding, then back to Boston and off to the UK for a few days to visit with old friends and my daughter Deborah and her family.
On top of that we had to move again – now we have a simplex in Bryanston and the four mouseketeers are settled in. They had a wonderful time at Global Paws while we were away (check out the full story on the home page of the SAW site!) so hopefully things can get back to normal now and we can spend our weekends on getting some serious water-skiing in over the next few months!
Apologies for no SAWmail last week... it was all ready to go (as can be seen from the fact that it is up on the home page of the SAW site!) but we just didn't have the time to send it out. So this week is a two-for-one edition!
Quote(s) of the Week
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. - Helen Keller
If you don't understand yourself you don't understand anybody else. - Nikki Giovanni
Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you. - Wayne Dyer
Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours." - John Locke
I have often been afraid, but I would not give in to it. I made myself act as though I was not afraid and gradually my fear disappeared. - Theodore Roosevelt
You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor. - James Allen
If you put a small value upon youself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. - Unknown
Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back.- Unknown
I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will. – Clint Eastwood
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. - John Andrew Holmes
Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty. - Anne Herbert
This from Sharon Waddington
Quotes worth sharing...
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you." - Warren Buffet
Send in any quotes you love... that have some special meaning for you... and I will use at least one every week. Usual address! editor@saw.co.za
| Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week |
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Coming Home
Welcome to our new section! Each week we will feature a question and answer sent in to the Company for Immigration. We hope these will help answer any questions you might have regarding any part of the coming home process. If you would like to send in your own question, please feel very free to do so.
We will also be featuring a great amount of information on the SAW Website (www.saw.co.za) under the Coming Home section. You can also find out info by visiting our newly relaunched site, South Africa Online (www.southafrica.co.za) and checking out the Coming to SA section.
Here is a bit more info...
Whenever and wherever South Africans meet, the surest way to start a lively discussion, is to ask someone for an opinion about emigration from or remigration back to South Africa. In 2002 we (i.e. the non-profit immigration service, Company for Immigration, and the trade-union, Solidarity) realized that the return of South African expats had become a fact and that their inputs are essential for the growth and development of the country. We are neither interested in a debate about the reasons why people leave or come back, nor about the merit of their decisions. We prefer to provide a practical service instead:
offering advice and assistance to prospective remigrants;
addressing the problems which cause people to emigrate; and informing people about the pros and cons of emigration, to help them make an informed decision before leaving.
Interested? Want to receive our monthly newsletter by email? Have questions or suggestions? If so, please visit our mirror sites www.comehome.co.za or www.komhuistoe.co.za and leave your details on the visitor's page, or contact us at admin@cfi.org.za. We are looking forward to hearing from you!
Alana & Annatjie
COME HOME CAMPAIGN
This week’s query:
Dear ladies and Gentlemen, Can you please tell me if the is an expatriate club in Johannesburg. We are from the Netherlands. Thanks in advance! Kind regards, Henk
Alana replies:
Mr. Luitjes can contact the Nederlandsche Vereeniging te Pretoria. They are the greatest bunch of people and will know where he can make contact in Johannesburg. They also have a nice monthly newsletter and a wonderful annual Xmas Carol programme, to mention but a few.
Chairman - Leendert Borsje - lborsje@telkomsa.net or 012-3338080. The Vice Chairman is in Johannesburg - Mr. Toebes - 011-7834510.
Hope this helps!
Alana & Annatjie
COME HOME CAMPAIGN
Company for Immigration / Maatskappy vir Immigrasie
P.O. Box 1283, Pretoria, 0001, South Africa
T: 0027-12-3231428
F: 0027-12-3239587
admin@cfi.org.za
Tears as pet giraffe is shot and eaten
October 02 2004 at 11:23AM by Peta Thornycroft
Harare - A week before his third birthday, Sunshine, a pet giraffe, was shot last Tuesday by a game warden, then braaied and eaten by police officers, a headmaster and primary school children in Zimbabwe, 120km from the South African border.
Several parents have expressed dismay that their children, from Mabeka Primary School in West Nicholson, were taken on an outing by their school principal, and watched a National Parks official shoot the tame giraffe at point-blank range.
Thea Akeroyd, who looked after the orphaned infant giraffe after its mother was poached in October 2001, was in tears on Friday as she recalled the incident, which has shocked the community.
I was in Bulawayo at the time. When I returned home, I was told that Sunshine had been taken away by a senior policeman, a uniformed policewoman, the headmaster of the school, and a bunch of kids, some of them very young.
"My husband Gary returned a couple of hours after me, and went to the school which is next door to us to fetch Sunshine. He found them drinking alcohol, and cooking our giraffe. They were loading some of the meat into a truck.
I have reported this to the police, I have the case number, and they are investigating. Some people from National Parks and some important people in the district have been in contact with us and are very angry. Akeroyd said in June she was visited at Tods Guest House, owned by her husband's family, by Assistant Commissioner Ephraim Katya who told her she needed a permit to keep the giraffe as a pet.
He had been worrying us for a couple of years because he wanted to take this property for a high person in government, and we didn't move. I went to Bulawayo to National Parks to get a permit, but they just laughed at me, because there is no such permit, there is no rule like that."
Akeroyd said Sunshine was a local celebrity and would have been domesticated if he had been able to get inside their home.
He used to try and come inside, but of course he couldn't, but it made us laugh, and we kept him in a pen close to the house. All the kids around here loved him. When visitors came from South Africa they loved him. People all around were used to him because he enjoyed human company. So when they came to take him to be killed, he just went with them, he wasn't scared."
She said they had witnesses who saw their long-necked pet shot at point-blank range.
Assistant Commissioner Katya from West Nicholson police on Friday confirmed that Sunshine had been killed at the primary school. "He was shot by the man from National Parks, not by the police. We did not eat his meat, "he said."
Now do you believe a policeman?
This article was originally published on page 1 of Saturday Star on October 02, 2004
Remember the two giraffe's Shorty and Diane from The Tod's
Go to http://www.rhodesiawassuper.com//index.cfm?Page=docs/Our%20Rhodie%20Photo%20Album and scroll down to the bottom of the page.
News from the SPCA
World Farm Animal Day – 02 October
The National Council of SPCAs (NSPCA) has a specialised unit dedicated to farm animals. Contrary to common public belief, the SPCA movement deals with and assists all animals: - not just cats and dogs or “pets”. In fact, if the plight of farm animals was considered including the numbers of them in our country, there is no doubt that attention should be focused on their welfare.
Farming may conjure up images of animals roaming freely across fields. Not so – or at least not so in the majority of cases.
Issues of concern identified by the NSPCA include saleyards, transportation of farm animals, intensive farming (battery hen systems etc), “emerging” farms and the facilities (or lack of them) for holding animals, known as “pounds”.
In addition, exports by sea of live animals for slaughter continue.
The outbreak of avian flu in the Eastern Cape has resulted in thousands of ostriches being put down to prevent the spread of this disease.
The NSPCA asks everyone to think of farm animals, to remember them and for a day to start with, then hopefully longer-term to make decisions and choices that would benefit these animals. Switching to free range eggs is a very good start and takes little effort. Avoiding foods that are inherently cruel in their method of production is an excellent gesture. This would include veal and pate de foie gras.
Consumers should have sufficient information for them to make informed choices. The NSPCA advocates in its Statement of Policy that “the consumer should have the right to know how all animal products (including non-food products) are produced and that they should be labelled with the method of production.”
Ramblings of a "When-We"
This from Richard Taylor taylor_rich@hotmail.com
Firstly I must say what a great service it is that you are providing to all South Africans.
You must get hundreds of mails from people in exactly the same position as me. People who long for a South Africa they have left and can never get back. People who, like me, left for greener pastures only to find that the pastures are only as green they make them.
I like many others left SA over seven years ago, to try and provide my family with a safer and more prosperous life in the UK. I have had a good seven years, that have been both prosperous and for the most part…. safe. In my job I have been lucky enough to have traveled to more countries than I can shake a stick at, and have experienced cultures as diverse as any in SA, from Romania, Hungary, Tunisia, Ireland, USA and Spain to name a few . But there was always that nagging feeling that I was not home. I find myself telling stories to people of the good old days back in SA. The countless Braai’s (I had to teach them that word) the never-ending sunshine, Castle Lager , Biltong and Boerwors etc., etc….. And to my utter dismay I realized I had become a “When-We”. I remember a time when Zimbabweans sported this name, and now it is us. I have been trying to train myself to stop saying “When-Were in SA” and “Back in SA”, because you can see the people you are talking to getting that “If it was so good there, then why are you here” look in their eyes.
So last year my family and I decided to go back for a holiday, only to find the South Africa I had known was no more. The country had not stood still and waited for my return and neither had my friends. My friends had grown, in this now fast moving, diverse, vibrant, sometimes exciting sometimes frightening new society. Towns and places I once new had evolved as well. Sometimes, it felt like that trip you to take back to your old school to visit the teachers and other times it was like being in a place for the first time. My friends made me feel welcome, and again, at times it was like I had never left and other times I felt worlds apart. I had, as they had, grown, and it was then that I realized that there was... “No Going Back”
I know that the UK will not be final resting place as I still have that yearning for a different life. One with a great outdoors and endless summers. So to all the others out there who feel the same, I hope you find a home because I am still searching.
Regards Richard Taylor
The Good News – The fight against crime in South Africa makes further strides
This from Guy Lundy guy@centric.co.za
While crime in South Africa is still unacceptably high, there are clear indications that it is being beaten. According to the annual figures of crimes reported to police, released last week, the prevalence of violent crimes in particular declined significantly during the 2003/4 financial year.
The number of murders in the country dropped by 9,9 percent on the previous year, and there were 6141 fewer murders than in 1994/5. Reported murders declined in all provinces except the Eastern Cape, falling most in the Western Cape, where they dropped by 22,5%. The numbers are still too high, at 19 824 nationally, but the tide has undoubtedly turned. The number of farm murders has decreased by 36 percent since 1997.
Major heists have experienced a massive drop, with a 49,7 percent drop in cash-in-transit robberies and a 58,3 percent drop in bank robberies. The number of attempted murders fell by 17,8 percent, and there was a drop of 7,8 percent in common robbery and 4,3 percent in serious assaults. Car hijackings fell by 8 percent and truck hijackings by 10,5 percent.
The number of rapes reported increased by 0,6 percent around the country, though this is not necessarily a reflection of an increase in incidence. Delphine Serumaga, director of People Opposing Women Abuse (Powa), told Independent Newspapers that the rise in reported rapes shows that things are actually getting better because women now trust the police and are breaking the silence. She believes that the number of rapes committed has probably stayed the same.
Rape, like most other violent crimes in South Africa, is most often committed by people who are personally known to the victim. This makes it difficult for the police to prevent these crimes from happening, because they often take place at home, but it also indicates how important it is that victims trust the police when reporting them.
Aggravated robbery was the only violent crime to increase, with a rise of 3,2 percent, mostly accounted for by street robberies and muggings. However, national police commissioner Jackie Selebi said that in the first three months of this year aggravated robberies fell again by 11,1 percent.
Calls have been made for figures to be published quarterly rather than annually so that the public can be made more regularly aware of how we are doing in the fight against crime.
For more interesting and exciting news about developments in South Africa, subscribe to the International Marketing Council's regular BrandSA newsletter by visiting www.imc.org.za/goodstuff.htm or www.imc.org.za/subscribe.asp. You can also visit the South African gateway website at www.southafrica.info.
The Good News – South Africa is doing well, let’s be positive about it
More from Guy
2004, the tenth year of democracy in South Africa, has been good for South Africans, with a great deal to feel proud of.
The year started out with our favourite actress, Charlize Theron, winning the Oscar for best actress and telling the world in her acceptance speech that she would be bringing the award home with her on holiday to South Africa. That was the first time that most people discovered that she is South African.
Our third democratic elections went off even more smoothly and peacefully than the previous two, with an increase in the number of women in parliament to one of the highest levels in the world. Government continued to commit themselves to fighting any signs of corruption by going ahead with the trial against the former financial adviser to the deputy president, Shabir Shaik, due to start on 11 October. Even crime figures showed positive direction, with significant decreases in almost all crime types over previous years, especially violent crimes. Zackie Achmat and the Treatment Action Campaign, who fought a tremendous battle to force the government to provide free anti-retroviral drugs to HIV-positive South Africans, were recognised for their work by being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, which in the end went to Africa’s first woman laureate, Kenyan environmental activist Wangari Maathai.
On the sports front South Africans have been doing very well, with the Olympic athletes coming home with one gold, three silver and two bronze medals, as well as a new world record in the 4x100m freestyle swimming relay. This was followed by an awesome display by the Paralympian team, who came away 13th overall in the medal tables – 4th in the athletics medal tables – after winning 35 medals overall. Ten of the fifteen gold medals were won with world records. The Springbok rugby team is also doing very well for the first time in several years, after winning the Tri-Nations tournament for the first time since 1998. And to top it off, South Africa has won the right to host the Soccer World Cup in 2010.
On the economic front, economists are pleasantly surprised by the lowest inflation rate since December 1959, the lowest interest rate in twenty years, a gold price of over $420, and the strongest Rand against the US dollar in four years (dropping below R6 in July). Property prices have also surged to new highs, with international research conducted by Research Worldwide.com showing that with 15.1% actual total returns, South African property was the best performing property market in the world in 2003. The result of all of this good economic news has been the highest consumer confidence in more than 20 years and the highest retailer confidence since 1988, as South Africans hit the pavements to go shopping. The motor industry expects 2004 to be its best year since 1984, as new car sales are already up 19,9% for the year to date over 2003.
Unfortunately, despite all of this positive sentiment and good news, many South Africans, especially those with the means to invest in the future, struggle to accept that this is not all a flash in the pan and refuse to invest more, thus growing the economy even further. Joel Netshitenze, CEO of the Government Communication and Information Service, recently expressed concern at the fact that private sector investment is currently only at 60% of what it was in the 1980s, when most of the world believed that South Africa could not possibly have a future. He said that a major concern of government is that between 12 and 15 percent of the country's GDP is held in cash reserves by corporates, rather than being invested, and if exchange controls were lifted, this money could leave the country.
The need to improve South Africans’ perceptions is the mission of various organisations, including Proudly South African, who recently held their Proudly South African Week, and the International Marketing Council, who are responsible for the Brand South Africa campaign, with its slogan “South Africa: Alive with Possibility”. Another campaign, National Be Positive Day, organised each year by Stephanie Vermeulen and Sue Grant Marshall, will take place this year on 5 November. It aims to encourage the media to tell some of the good news stories rather than the stock of bad news that they usually focus on, and to encourage South Africans to believe in themselves and see the potential that their country has. Let’s hope that these campaigns will have the desired effect of making all South Africans, whether living at home or abroad, see how bright South Africa’s future is and work together towards making it what it can be.
For more interesting and exciting news about developments in South Africa, subscribe to the International Marketing Council's regular BrandSA newsletter by visiting www.imc.org.za/goodstuff.htm or www.imc.org.za/subscribe.asp. You can also visit the South African gateway website at www.southafrica.info.
British Airways - Warning
This from: Wendy O'Brien kleeobrien@yahoo.com
Hi Maureen:
I think that your readers, in all respective countries, might be interested in noting the following.
My husband and I recently booked flights on British Airways from San Francisco to London and London to Cape Town. It was only after booking and paying for our tickets, that we discovered (by chance) that we will only be getting 25% of the miles flown on both legs of our trip. Yes, British Airways has a "new policy" that if you buy what they call a "discounted economy ticket", you are only awarded 25% of the miles flown. Nothing is mentioned about this on the phone when making a reservation, and nothing is mentioned when making reservations online. If you hunt really carefully on their website, you can find this information. We complained in writing about their rather "sneaky" way of doing things, but it came to naught. If we'd wanted to cancel our flights, they wanted to charge us $200 per person, so we're stuck with British for now. What we paid for our tickets is the most we've ever paid, and the prices were certainly not indicative of a so-called "discounted fare", but I guess if you're flying Coach, that's what you get.
As far as we're aware, British is the only airline not awarding full mileage for travel. So, fellow-South Africans and readers, beware. If you're flying a specific airline to accumulate miles, it'll take awhile to fly anywhere for free if you're flying with British Airways!
Kind regards,
Wendy O'Brien
Woman to Woman
This from Des Cowie descowie@lineone.net
Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes.... might be lonely.
And the word says if I have not Love, I am nothing.
So, again, love you. Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say:
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen. Losers let things happen."
Be Blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.
The explanation of life ----"for those who are not sure"
This from Sharon Waddington sharon@paradygm.co.za
On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.
On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "you've got a deal."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
What bothers me...
This from Gittel Boxall gittelb@earthlink.net
A 91-year-old woman died after living a very long dignified life. When she met God, she asked Him something that had really bothered her for a very long time. "If Man was created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"
God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. It is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people and our relationships with God. This confused the woman, so God began to explain:
"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.
When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it's the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.
When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life's experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is Man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control."
Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned that there are no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God replied that Man's capacity to love is the greatest gift He has. At the root of kindness and love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson. The woman's curiosity deepened. God, once again began to explain:
"When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused. When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!"
Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the right direction!
Peace & Love
Gittel
How Do You Get To Heaven?
This from Emiline Fabre-Murdey eamurdey@yahoo.com
This is an utter delight!
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
I was just bursting with pride for them.
Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
Mind Massage
Mindfulness isn't esoteric, elusive, or elitist.
It can be as down-home as, say, square dancing.
Swing your partner? Turn to your corner? Allemande left? Do-Sa-Do?
It's all about dancing with your thoughts without getting too attached to any one of them. Petticoats are optional.
Maya ;-)
Do-Sa-Do: Square Dancing And Mindfulness
When I was 12, one of my best friends was a square dancer. Twice a week, her family would pile into the Country Squire station wagon and head to the Grange Hall, where they'd gather with their square dancing club for an evening of music, friendship and do-sa-do.
As a regular guest, I was fascinated by the form but, in the height of my coolness-conscious years, also acutely aware of the overwhelming dork factor. These people lived to square dance. They skipped around for two or three hours at a time, twirling and smiling and dabbing at their foreheads between dances.They hunted for holiday-themed fabric months before special dances in order to whip up the perfect ruffled dress and matching shirt for each occasion. They packed their petticoats and headed to Penticton, British Columbia every summer for a regional square dancers' convergence.
The square dance girls were just as boy-crazy as my regular friends, but they had a built-in way to hold hands with the guys they liked. As for me, I had a major crush on my friend's older brother who, at 15, was an articulate, ambitious student body president with piercing blue eyes and blond hair to his shoulders (it was 1972, after all).
In one of our (for me, anyway) excruciating conversations involving much blushing, he told me that square dancing was like meditation. "It's a way to forget about everything except what's going on right now. You have to pay attention to what the caller says, and let your mind and body make sense of it naturally, without trying too hard."
At the time, I had only a fleeting familiarity with meditation, and I didn't see much similarity between these suburban, gingham-clad dancers and the Hare Krishnas that offered carnations to passersby on downtown street corners.
Years later, I have to marvel at his insight.
Square dancing IS like meditation. There's no focusing on memories of the past or worries about the future. Instead, a square dancer must remain in a state of acceptance and anticipation. The caller will determine the next move, and no amount of second-guessing or outsmarting will help you become more effective--or more popular.
As a square dancer, you're surrounded by other dancers but not really attached to a particular one--your matching outfits notwithstanding-- because you are constantly moving among the others. Your attention is directed toward whatever comes up--in this case, the caller's command and your subsequent focus on that engagement, however brief.
There's a continuous current of possibilities, and your state is that of relaxed readiness without any judgment. Other than the moment your crush happens to be holding your hand, there is no partner or move that is better than any other.
The beauty is in the flow of it all and the awareness of being fully there.
For the square dancers, their Wednesday-and- Saturday-night gatherings provided fellowship, fitness and an opportunity to really let go. Despite the hopelessly unhip pointy white shoes and the Hee- Haw setting, the dancers had discovered a way to make mindfulness, well, FUN if not exactly cool.
Perhaps it never crossed their minds that they were engaging in anything but entertaining exercise. But if a 15-year-old boy--cute or not--could see it, I'm guessing that others recognized the sense of connection they gained in an evening of fully-present partner swinging.
We tend to think of mindfulness as something to be experienced only through meditation. WRONG. Mindfulness involves us 100% in the present moment, but we don't need a cushion, maple bench, or incense to get there.
In our mindful moments, we are at our finest and most human--open, forgiving, focused, compassionate and connected. Sitting, standing, or swinging your partner, that's a good place to be.
Yee-haw!
Postscript...
Well, you learn something every day. I always thought that it was "do-si-do", but the premiere website for square dancers these days is www.dosado.com, so I'll take their word for it.
There are teen clubs, gay clubs, college scholarships for callers, even a Square Dancing Today magazine. (Tag line: "It's Hip To Be Square"...)
It's a subculture, and it's going strong. Who knew?
If you've got a hankering for some mindfulness in the form of square dancing, check out this site...
http://www.dosado.com
Post Postscript...
That cute 15-year-old? He grew up to be an executive with Shell Oil in Texas.
I hope he still square dances.
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Can chewing gum help you focus?
Despite what my teachers told me and how it might make you look less intelligent, studies show that chewing gum can indeed contribute to increased mental functioning.
Break out the bubblegum!
Yung-yung-yung (snap!),
Maya ;-)
Chewing On Mindfulness: Gum Is Your Secret
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger years, was a gum-chewer. She was never without a pack or two of Wrigley's Doublemint gum.
She wasn't a snapper or bubble-blower--she viewed that as highly uncivilized. Grandma kept her mouth closed, thank you very much, and her chewing silent.
She insisted that it helped her concentrate. It turns out that she was right.
Research has shown that chewing does indeed increase our ability to concentrate and to retain what we've learned. In fact, studies indicate that, for both kids and adults, mental tasks are completed up to 20% more effectively when we chew gum.
Here's why: When we chew--whether it's food, gum or just air--we respond by salivating, which releases a surge of insulin. Our body gets ready for a meal. The insulin leads to an increased heart rate and sends glucose and oxygen to our brain.
The result? This blast of brain food helps us learn faster and retain this information longer.
If that's all it takes to boost learning, I'm all for it! In fact, I'd like to suggest that we chew gum as a mindfulness exercise.
Really. Perhaps instead of "Om" we should be chanting "Grom-grom-grom".
Why not? We already know that mindfulness can be very effectively practiced during repetitive physical activity. It's hard to find a more repetitive and less demanding activity than chewing gum!
Try this: Sit comfortably in any position that allows you to breathe with a relaxed belly. Pop some gum into your mouth and begin chewing.
Pay attention to the burst of flavor and accompanying saliva. Feel the texture of the gum as it softens and stretches. Focus on chewing the gum on only one side of your mouth ten times, then switch to the other side. Continue as you slowly chew, allowing yourself to count to ten before switching sides again. Keep this up for about two minutes while concentrating on the chewing motion.
Simple? Sure. Mindfulness is simple. And it can become pretty easy to focus for short periods, especially if we have a particular physical activity as the center of our attention. Many people find this a much easier and more effective way to experience mindfulness than simply sitting and watching thoughts.
There's no need to make mindfulness difficult, uncomfortable or woo-woo. If chewing gum is good for your brain, take advantage of it as an easy way to practice mindfulness.
On a bus? At your desk? Take a two-minute break to chew gum. Nobody needs to know what you're doing. It will be your minty little secret.
Salvation? Okay, maybe not. Here's to salivation!
Yesterday
Yesterday was National Depression Screening Day. I lost two brothers to suicide, and suffered through severe depression myself, so I tend to think of it as an important date.
While twice as many women as men experience depression, men are less likely to seek help. Although women tend to experience the more publicized symptoms of hopelessness and despair, men often experience depression as a kind of irritability and loss of interest in daily activities.
One of the most inspiring quotes I've ever heard is this: "Irritation is the first sign of wisdom." Not that it necessarily leads that way, but it CAN.
Irritation is always an opportunity to learn something about yourself. For men, it might indicate the onset of depression.
Please keep this in mind when you notice changes in your loved ones.
I wish I had had a chance to help my brothers find their way toward wisdom.
For more information, and to take a simple online screening test, visit this website:
http://www.depression-screening.org
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Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 90 countries. This article appeared in the Friday Mind Massage, a free weekly ezine serving up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief. To subscribe, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com.
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©Copyright 2004, Maya Talisman Frost
52 Best Stories – Have Lunch with God
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a big bag of potato chips and a six pack of root beer and started his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.
Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him,
"What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied,
"I had lunch with God. You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked,
"Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied,
"I ate potato chips in the park with God. You know, he's much younger than I expected."
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!
Have lunch with God. Bring potato chips and a root beer.
~ Author Unknown ~
http://www.52best.com/lunch.asp
52 Best Stories - Ben Stein's Last Column - Insane Luxury
I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end. It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars.
I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie. But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.
Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of something we should all look up to.
How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model?
Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails. They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer.
A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK- 47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.
A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.
A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.
The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.
We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.
I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.
There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament. The policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive. The orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery, the teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children, the kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards. Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse.
Now you have my idea of a real hero. We are not responsible for the operation of the universe, and what happens to us is not terribly important.
God is real, not a fiction, and when we turn over our lives to Him, He takes far better care of us than we could ever do for ourselves. In a word, we make ourselves sane when we fire ourselves as the directors of the movie of our lives and turn the power over to Him. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human.
I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin or Martin Mull or Fred Willard or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.
But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life. I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents with my sister's help.
I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma, and then entered immortality, with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.
This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.
~ Written by Ben Stein who graduated from Yale Law School in 1970 as valedictorian of his class. He has worked as a poverty lawyer in New Haven, a trial lawyer in the field of trade regulation in Washington, D.C., and taught at the American University. He has written and published sixteen books, seven novels, largely about life in Los Angeles, and nine nonfiction books. His most recent book is the best selling humor self help book, "How To Ruin Your Life." He is also an extremely well known actor in movies, TV, and commercials. His part of the boring teacher in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" was recently ranked as one of the fifty most famous scenes in American film. ~
http://www.52best.com/stein.asp
Hands
An old man, probably some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the park bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was ok.
Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he were ok. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," he said in a clear strong voice.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, sir, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were ok?" I explained to him.
"Have you ever looked at your hands?" he asked. "I mean really looked at your hands."
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making. Then he smiled and related this story:
"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.
They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.
They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.
They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.
They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and when I walked my daughter down the aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend’s foot.
They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.
And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.
But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And He won't care about where these hands have been or what they have done. What He will care about is to whom these hands belong and how much He loves these hands. And with these hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."
No doubt I will never look at my hands the same again. I never saw the old man again after I left the park that day, but I will never forget him and the words he spoke.
When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children I think of the man in the park. I have a feeling he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.
I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face. Thank you, Father God, for hands.
~ The Author is Melinda Clements ~
http://www.52best.com/myhands.asp
One Man’s Australia
Most of my columnists did not know when I would be back... I expect to have columns by next week.
Northern Lightie - Band Aid for the tear in the CanAfricans soul!
A short succinct synopsis of the show Umoja currently showing here in Toronto after its London run.
Those of you who know me are aware of my passion for music so it was probably not rocket science to realise that I would be attending the show at some stage.
Having run a successful competition in the local newsletter here in Ontario I received word back from the winners that the show was "awesome" and "excellent" and well worth attending if only to shed a quiet tear and then dance your spirits back into the stratosphere.
By the way for those of you who would like to run a competition for anything that involves having people identifying a picture it makes sense NOT to save the picture with a filename that states exactly what the answer is! Unless you intended it as so.
I must confess however that I didn't intend to have the answer so readily and easily found and was rather annoyed with myself when one of the first answers I received to the question: "what tribe is doing the Snake Dance in picture?" was a simple "The Venda Tribe... as in your .jpg file name!".
Too late she cried! Ah well at least I had a good response.
So it was with some anticipation that I went off to opening night.
First of all let me say that I doubt I have heard so many kugels in one spot since I was last in Houghton!
I fully appreciate that this would have many South Africans in the audience but even I was astounded at just how many of my fellow ex pats there were!
I gave up trying to listen for Seffricans after a while and concentrated on who WASN'T a Seffrican instead. Which seemed few and far between I might add. And that included those Seffricans who feel that assimilating into the local community involves a false Canadian accent. Ja is Ja no matter how much of a twang you give it!
It was like a gathering of the masses I hadn't experienced anywhere before here in Canada. All races colours and creeds and thousands of them as well. Well hundreds at least.
Enough to give rousing applause at each and every appropriate moment. Mind you I suspect that in the boxes and front seats that was more akin to Lennon's "jewellery rattling" than any great ululation.
I must however make a note that in true "African Time" the show started later than usual. Such is the power of tradition I suppose.
The story of Umoja is fairly simple.
As the advertising puts it: Umoja is "the spirit of togetherness".
It involves the life of a Zulu from youth to old age and how music has been involved all along the travels he has undertaken. The people and places that have shaped his memories and the way it has helped to keep the people together and provide a focus to their existence.
It is in effect the music that all South Africans have listened to, consciously or subconsciously, for all their life.
It is musical recognition of our past and hope for our future.
It is stirring and quite emotional and I am sure that everyone with even a drop of African blood will be roused by the show.
So on to a few other observations.
I am not sure whether the narrators close resemblance of Madiba is intentional but it certainly drew recognition from the audience and judging by the accent and later rendition of the famous Mandela Shuffle I strongly suspect that it was.
As a drummer I know that I am going to be caught up in the rhythm and beat and the traditional drummers were, to put it mildly, awesome! In fact throughout the show I can't remember one missed beat in the slightest. It was a steady beat that provided the pulse of the show and kept the whole together. To watch the drummers pounding the skins and sides of the drums was enough to make the sedentary break out in a sweat at the energy. And this lasted for a good few hours.
Actually, for excessive energy, the spot where two members of the cast play the Marimba is something to watch. And magic to listen to!
I wondered why the Venda Snake Dance was so named, as watching the performance left me with the belief that they looked more like a Shongololo than a python (which is the other name for the dance) The lighting is superb on this one and the way the maidens move in unison with arms and legs as one is impressive to see in the half light that is used.
I will though, forever feel that I saw a shongololo that night.
Oddly enough I thought that the most recognised song of the night was "Tula Baba". There appeared to be a sort of shiver that ran through the audience when it began. Almost as if everyone there had a memory of that song being sung to them and, possibly, singing it to someone else.
With all the potential for political rant the program was remarkably free from any recriminations and what there was, was relevant and quite muted.
The essence of the show was music and how it uplifts people and it certainly did that to me!
I will leave you with the most pertinent observation of the evening. One that comes from the notes in the program:
"The drums of Africa, they speak to your blood, your heart and your soul"
They spoke to mine.
And my blood, soul and heart answered.
Of poets and landscapes
Each of us lives in a landscape that is layered. There is the "real" landscape, the rocks and trees, hills and water, mountains and plains with which we can fill our eyes, should we want to. There is the landscape of the mind, the way we put words to the place in which we find ourselves - our consciousness of being in an environment. And then there is the landscape of the soul, which is the place somewhere between outside reality and our innermost being; an admixture of the real and the perceived, of the physical and the abstract.
Most of us never give much thought to the latter, and even fewer put it into words, yet it pervades our very existence. There are a few poets who became so aware of their landscapes of the soul that this awareness glows in their work and enriches it. One such is Ted Hughes…
I must admit a bias here, because I have been enraptured by Hughes's work ever since I first read a poem of his, and every word of his that I have read since have confirmed his status in my eyes. He is my Greatest Poet, and I'll explain why.
First of all, though, I want to thank a dear friend of mine in the United States who, hearing that I was unable to get hold of Ted Hughes's Collected Poems, went so far as to buy a copy and airmail it to me. She was naughty, yes, but also persistent, so now I have my favourite poet at my bedside again - every single poem of his ever published!
Those of you who have been battling through my linguistic labyrinths every now and then for a while now, will know how important the world around me is to me. Yes, it is very much a result of growing up in the wideness of the South African interior, but also because somewhere along the line I picked up a fragment of an artistic bone! Not much, unfortunately, but enough to make me see and think differently, to experience the world around me more intensely. That is why I enjoy and appreciate Hughes so much. 
Their own landscapes of the soul come through clearly in the works of a great number of poets, one only has to think of Dylan Thomas's Welsh seaside towns, T S Eliot's London cityscapes and Robert Frost's rural America, but Ted Hughes, for me at any rate, surpasses them. He was so much a part of the world in which he lived that his poems have a haunting sense of place, be it a wild moorland, a deserted river before dawn or his farm battered by a gale. Hughes was so imbued by the landscapes in which he lived and so attuned to every change of light or weather that every line of every poem of his evokes a vivid picture of his own landscape of the soul. Even when he writes about his London flat at the time he met Sylvia Plath, the American poet who was later to become his wife and whose life and death had such a tremendous impact on him, one cannot escape the very realness of the place.
His descriptions, either direct or implied, of rural England always bring to my mind the photographs of Faye Godwin, with whom he worked to produce an amazing book about rivers. It is a wild and desolate place, very often elemental, even where touched by the hand of man; at other times almost idyllically serene, but always very much present. Hughes's landscape is one in which man is always a fragile, yet vital, presence. In many ways, Hughes has much in common with another favourite of mine, the French novelist and philosopher Albert Camus, whose native Algerian landscape had such a formative influence on his life and writings.
 My weekly forays into Victoria when I go on my photo shoots for my Rayscam website have brought me closer to the landscapes of my new home, and every time I drive or walk through the woodlands, along the beaches or rivers, every time I pause by some billabong or lake or pool in a creek in this part of the world, I am again struck by the way in which the elements of this landscape echo those of the landscape of my soul. Of course, every scene I see here adds to that wide and ever-growing, ever-expanding other landscape which is so intensely part of me.
 The "poets" in the title of this piece actually also includes photographers and painters, because it refers to anyone who has a poet's awareness of the world around him/her. Just as Ted Hughes, Dylan Thomas, Robert Frost and countless others, including South Africa's own Roy Campbell, were noticeably influenced by landscape, so too with photographers like Ansel Adams and Faye Godwin, painters like Constable, Turner and Van Gogh, to name just a few of the vast number, and musicians like Grieg, Wagner and Tchaikovsky (once again just to name a few that immediately spring to mind). All of them have in common a very strong affinity with the natural world, all of them have been able to express their own landscapes of the soul in their work.
Now, I would never dream of wanting to place myself in such exalted company, but these artists have set an example which leads me on. I'm no great shakes as a poet, sadly, but at least I feel that my photographs come closer to being able to express in my own modest way the effect on me of the landscape around me, and to give a faint and dim image of the landscape of my soul; a landscape made up of the places I have seen and loved, from the Karoo to the Azores, from Japan to Victoria; from mountains to plains, crater lakes to oceans, rolling green hills to arid bushland. This is the world which has made me who and what I am, and my undying gratitude goes to the great people who made me aware of the existence of such an inner landscape: the poets of landscape. So here is to you, above all, Ted Hughes. May your spirit forever roam the wide and elemental country you loved so much.
Mooiloop
Ray
raytheron at iprimus.com.au
Changing Lanes – Television -2004
Modern day relaxation centres largely on media entertainment, be it movies, DVD's, videos, CD's, the internet or television. How many people do you know come home from work and the first thing they do is sit down in front of the good old cathode ray tube with a cup of tea (or a beer on a Friday), and wind down? I know I'm a victim! And I have been both in Zimbabwe and here. Of course, back home the local TV station, ZBC, had all of, oh, TWO channels! Satellite was for the elite, and you couldn't miss them, with their massive dishes tempting interplanetary contact!
Quality was never something we had the luxury of choosing. With limited channels, basically you watched what was on. And my word, what a cross-section that was! Until the early nineties, the one channel only started showing around 5pm if I remember rightly. A slew of painful children's programs that must have been dredged up from the ark were shown. Admittedly, if you know no different, you can easily tolerate bad programs! Our influence was predominantly American, though some of the better dramas were from the BBC. Of course we got them about 5 years behind, so when I came over here, I missed a massive chunk out of the good old favourites. Never having been over in UK myself before, I didn't appreciate the subtlety of English humour, being more used to the slapstick American formulae. English meant boring. They were far too staid, considered and intricate for my American-polluted tastes.
Thankfully we never got any English soaps. We heard tell of the never-ending, eternal Coronation Street, but settled for the painful Australian soap Neighbours (Home and Away was never shown - how deprived am I?) on the weekend, and good old Dallas, Dynasty, or scraping the barrel with Santa Barbara in the evenings. Though one UK soap did reach us - the Scottish classic, Take the High Road. Of all the soaps to show in the heat of Africa, I am still amazed at that.
Being an up and coming third world country, it had to try its hand at producing local offerings. How amazing they were. Acting was obviously not a necessity, face pulling was essential, and shouting was encouraged. Don't worry about facing the camera, and over-exaggerate every syllable and emotion - this is TV after all! Of course, they were all in the local languages, so that cut me out from being a convert.
Live TV was a rarity. For decent stuff anyway. In a blue moon we'd get an international football match screened, otherwise we were left to suffer with the endless hours of horse racing on Saturdays, and only more recently, the international cricket tests started to be aired. The Olympics brought the whole comparison of TV viewing to my mind. I remember the scant heavily edited coverage we used to get over the Olympics. None of the good stuff seemed to last long. We got excerpts from roundups for a total of about an hour a day and that was our lot. We would see the opening ceremony live eventually, but were often forced to watch it on delayed transmission the day after.
As for the Oscars, we always saw those one year behind. I honestly don't know how I survived out there! Anyone half decent at presenting news or fronting talk shows was snatched up by the South Africans, so we were left with the over-enthusiastic, misguided wannabes. It certainly made our social lives more active in needing to find alternative stimulation.
Adverts from the bigger international companies were always a pleasure. The more local or regional companies attempted to make adverts to entice you to purchase their wares, but we tended to get up and make tea during every break. Some of the ones that made it to air make you wonder whether our advertising standards did any work! You know things were bad when we looked forward to watching the British 100 Worst/Best Adverts countdowns!
Despite colouring the pastime of television viewing in deepest darkest Africa with dull shades, I suppose I turned out all right despite it. I can remember with fondness watching Rainbow with George, Bungle and Zippy whilst doing my A level homework in the senior study, I slowly developed an appreciation for the commonality of Del Boy and the despair of Rodders, and thrived on the blood-thirsty vengeance of the Ewings or the Colbys. 3-2-1 Contact provided education and Catchphrase, Family Fortunes and The Generation Game provided family entertainment that we could all stomach.
Nowadays, with the luxury of Sky, we still appear to struggle with finding quality programs, despite the oodles of channels. We have cricket, footie and rugby coming out our ears, the Olympics was on 24-7 and we could choose what we wanted to watch with the Interactive option, and with all the channels running the same programs one hour delayed, I'm surprised I manage to leave the comfort of the couch to do some work! I have settled into a familiar routine of Star Trek Voyager at 5pm, the Simpsons from 6 till 8, and then a movie or two if I fancy it. Television has given me the essence of Ally McBeal, Friends, My Family - the list is endless - and as a result I am made up of contributing elements of all these memorable characters. Of course, the kids of today are being polluted with foulness such as Teletubbies and the pestilent Pokemon, though Sponge Bob attempts to salvage a modicum of decency in our youth.
I buy certain products, wear certain clothes, say certain phrases, sing certain songs and think a certain way because of television, so I'd say that's a pretty significant influence! What does your TV make you do?
No queries received this week.
I am looking for a copy of the history textbook we used in highschool during the early 70’s. You know, the one starting with Jan Van Riebeeck, the Cape, Van der Stel, Dingaan, the Great Trek. If memory serves, it was a grey hardcover book with maroon.
We moved to NZ seven years ago, and my son is losing his SA roots and I would like to prevent that. I would also like to read it myself again for the memories it brings back: those last two periods on Friday, Meneer Winter up in front droning away, me and Freddie next to me stuggling to keep our eyes open and looking at the sunshine outside….
Thanks!
Louis Botha
bothal@ihug.co.nz
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Hi Maureen!
I am wondering whether anyone knows of a good online biltong supplier?
There are a few different varieties around - some homemade here in Canberra that do not include SA spices in their recipes - so need to look further afield. Someone kindly posted something to me a while back but my system got updated and I lost their info.
Thanks,
Lucy:) at luce@iprimus.com.au
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Have searched for dance venues for the not too young as we're in our sixties and couldn't find anything on this site. Preferably clubs viz yacht clubs, etc. Will be in SA from mid Jan to mid March in Durban, Port Elizabeth, the Garden route and Cape Town. Hope you can help.
Patricia Huckle
panda131@mail2me.com.au
If you are looking for a lost friend... if you would like old friends to contact you... If you want to find old school friends... if you just want people who used to know you to find you again for a chat...
Send in your info, the info of anyone you are looking for and let’s see if we can find them for you!
Hi Maureen
I hope you can help. I am looking for my cousins with whom I have lost contact. I am looking for Lowell Mapstone whom I believe has gone to either Australia or New Zealand or his sister Carol. I no longer know her surname as she was widowed and remarried. I know she has a daughter living here in Holland (where I now live) and would love to see her when she comes to visit her.
Thanks
Jean Uljee(Mapstone)
je_to@wanadoo.nl (please note there is a underscore between je and to)
-------------
Hi I am a South African living in the UK and always bought Angels shoes, I need to find a way to order them from SA or a shop in the UK that stock them. Is there anyone that can help me I am starting to be desperate. Please be so kind to let me know.
Thanks a mil
Antoinette Stassen
antoinette_stassen@tiscali.co.uk
----------------
I want to find somwone in South-Africa. I am belgum and here are my rezults from this person: her name is leighe ehretshe is marryd with bryon ehrit they haf 3 kids garrith, morgan and kegan.
Please help me bye jannah
Jannah Field
jannahje@hotmail.com
SA Club Luxembourg
Hi everyone,
Hope you all had a great summer vacation and of course now it is time to get back to work and prepare for those long winter nights but think you can at least snuggle up to the fireplace with a blanket and a good book.
Thanks to everyone who supported the events during this past year especially the Freedom Day Celebrations and Braai, I do not think the guys have made as many wors rolls as what they did this past year so Lo just keep on making.
The Ostrich weekend was a great success and hopefully this will now become an annual event.
Just to give you some dates to put in your calendar for November.
7th November 2004
The annual "Fête de l'Amitié" or "Friendship Day" in Sandweiler which is held at the Cultural Center in rue Principal. This is a day for all the foreigners living in Sandweiler to present their countries. Meaning that those that take part, prepare the traditional foods from their country for everyone to taste, to present typical drinks of the country and to display items representing their country, whether it be groceries or ornaments (either for sale or only used for display).
The tasting is for free. The main aim for this event is to get everyone together and have fun sharing our traditions with one another. Everyone is welcome to come along and see the goodies on display and more, important to taste them all!
27th and 28th November 2004
The famous International Bazaar. As you all know the Bazaar has been going for more than 25 years and this is one of the biggest charity events to be held in Luxembourg. This will be the 11th year for the South African stand and we can only say that we will continue because of the support from all of you. This year we will have the normal crafts, pottery, candles, soaps and many more items.
We will still have the food stand with South African wines, cider and beer. Boerewors rolls and ostrich steaks will be on sale. This year we will bring back the Nice 'n Spicy spices, Mrs Balls chutney, Ouma rusks, biltong, dry wors, chili sticks and lots of other nice goodies as well.
If there is anyone who would like to order any of the drinks is advance (Hunters, Savanna, Windhoek, Castle etc) please let us know by latest end of next week as our orders will arrive early October.
December 2004
Children’s Christmas Party, give us your views.
Till next time
Pat and Elaine
Kindergartner to Grade One
This from Garrin Jameson GarrinJ@joburg.org.za
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use 'Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a train. You must remember to use
'Big People' words."
She then asked little Alec what he had done?
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's wonderful!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
[I love this]
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the Sh!t."
How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a
lightbulb?
Please do not read this joke if you do not like political humour.
This from Captain Ken
The Answer is TEN:
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either: "For changing the light bulb or for darkness"
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the banner "Light! Bulb Change Accomplished"
7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally "in the dark"
8. One to viciously smear #7
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along
10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.
The Best Golf Story Ever
This from Sharon Waddington sharon@paradygm.co.za
A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.
You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding." He said, "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?
How do these people survive?
This from Marlene Smith
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
I was checking out at the local Pak n Save with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Police in Manuka, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
A mother calls 111 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!
We were at a caravan park at Lake Rotoiti one year and the man in the site next to us woke us up one morning yelling out to his wife at the top of his voice "can you make toast with sandwich bread?" My husband yelled out and told him that if he put sandwich bread in the toaster that his warranty would be void.
Reasons why I never visit rich people!!
More from Marlene...
Question: "What would you like to have... Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please"
Question: "Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or Green tea?"
Answer: "Ceylon tea"
Question: "How would you like it? black or white?"
Answer: "White"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?"
Answer: "With milk"
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: "Milk from Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: "Um, I'll take it black."
Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar"
Question: "White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water?"
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured?"
Answer: "Lossit. Ek vrek liewer vannie dors!" ("Leave it. I'll rather die of thirst!")
Laugh out loud
More from Marlene
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
(She’s good!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"
(He asked for it!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(Yep, he had that coming too!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(Right on, lady!)
God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Jennifer's wedding day
Even more from Marlene
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young, wife Dolly had bought the exact same dress!
Jennifer asked Dolly to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
Jennifer told her mother, who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart, I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping again and did find another drop-dead gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Are you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"
Now, I ask you - What woman wouldn't love this!
Irish Confession
This from Garrin Jameson GarrinJ@joburg.org.za
A young Irish lad goes for confession and says, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And, who was the woman you were with?" "I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads."
Olympics
This from Emiline Fabre-Murdey eamurdey@yahoo.com
Here are the top eight comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
2. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
3. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious"
4. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
5. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
6. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
7. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
8. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Here is a very easy recipe for peanut butter fudge. I have not tried it but it looks easy and tasty. It is from the Chef Dev site on www.vegsource.com
Easy Peanut Butter Fudge
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2 cups granulated sugar
½ cup water
¼ tsp vanilla
In a pot, bring sugar and water to a boil. Let the mixtures boil for exactly one
minute.
In a bowl, have the peanut butter and vanilla measured out and ready.
Pour the sugar and water into the bowl when ready, and mix well. Pour into 8x8 in greased pan.
Let cool.
NOTE: As soon as you pour the sugar and water into the bowl with the peanut butter and vanilla, it will start to harden, so work quickly.
Els and Bjorn get rid of their demons
World number two Ernie Els and Denmark's Thomas Bjorn have finally rid themselves of the golfing demons that threatened to derail their careers. Els did it by winning the seven-million-dollar WGC American Express Championship on Sunday.
http://www.mg.co.za/content/l3.asp?cg=BreakingNews-Sport&ao=123112
Du Toit takes aim at world championships
Cape Town - Paralympic sensation Natalie du Toit returned to Cape Town, but only for a day before jetting off on Sunday on her first trip to the US for the World Short-Course Championships. The five-time gold and one-time silver medalist will be returning to her chosen field as a long-distance swimmer and will compete in the 800 metre freestyle event at the championships in Indianapolis.
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=6&click_id=4&art_id=vn20041004101525430C788412
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