Contents

Issue No. 338 -- 22 August 2005

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Editor's Message

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Snowball has finished his radiation therapy. We took him for his last session yesterday morning. Now he has to have checkups every two weeks for a while, then once a month, then every three months.

Here is a pic of him already knocked out in his cage in the corridor at the Rand Clinic:







Here is a pic of some of the dogs already knocked out ready for treatment. Both these golden retrievers are called Sandy!



Here is the blackmail pic... the one we are going to show to the neighbourhood cats if Snowball gets out of line!






Captain Ken and I (and Snowball) really appreciate the help and assistance we have had from Dr Geraldine Crewe and Liezel at the clinic.



On another topic, I have been publishing SAWmail and the SAW web site for many years (seven for the newsletter and ten for the site) now and I think it is time for a change. I have other projects that need more of my time... so if anyone has ideas about how things can progress into the future, please let me know.

Quote/s of the Week

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These from me...

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece. - Nadia Boulanger

This from Daniel Jan le Roux...

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it - Ellen Goodman


Send in any quotes you love... that have some special meaning for you... and I will use at least one every week. Usual address! editor@saw.co.za

Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week

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Coming Home
Each week we will feature a question and answer sent in to the Company for Immigration. We hope these will help answer any questions you might have regarding any part of the coming home process. If you would like to send in your own question, please feel very free to do so.

We will also be featuring a great amount of information on the SAW Website (www.saw.co.za) under the Coming Home section. You can also find out info by visiting our newly relaunched site, South Africa Online (www.southafrica.co.za) and checking out the Coming to SA section.

Here is a bit more info...

Whenever and wherever South Africans meet, the surest way to start a lively discussion, is to ask someone for an opinion about emigration from or remigration back to South Africa. In 2002 we (i.e. the non-profit immigration service, Company for Immigration, and the trade-union, Solidarity) realized that the return of South African expats had become a fact and that their inputs are essential for the growth and development of the country. We are neither interested in a debate about the reasons why people leave or come back, nor about the merit of their decisions. We prefer to provide a practical service instead:

offering advice and assistance to prospective remigrants;
addressing the problems which cause people to emigrate; and informing people about the pros and cons of emigration, to help them make an informed decision before leaving.

Interested? Want to receive our monthly newsletter by email? Have questions or suggestions? If so, please visit our mirror sites www.comehome.co.za or www.komhuistoe.co.za and leave your details on the visitor's page, or contact us at admin@cfi.org.za. We are looking forward to hearing from you!

This week’s Q&A:

Sebastian, Germany: I have been offered a job in South Africa. The benefits do not include medical insurance. Should I try to get medical insurance on my own?

Dear Sebastian
If the job's benefits do not include medical insurance, it is essential to make provision for it on your own. There are many reliable funds in South Africa which will all accept foreign nationals of all ages. You can contact these funds for a free quote and decide which fund and option will suit you best. South African immigration legislation does not specify the amount of cover you should have, as long as you have cover, so the choice will be up to you. Provide the funds with your age and detailed medical information to ensure a reliable quote.

Kind regards

Alana & Annatjie
COME HOME CAMPAIGN

Migrasie / Migration
Solidariteit Alliansie / Solidarity Alliance
P O Box 8766, Centurion, 0046, RSA
Tel: 0027-(0)12-6438532
Fax: 0027-(0)12-6438587
admin@cfi.org.za

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Hello from Dublin
This from Jenni D Jenni.Dauth@friendsfirst.ie

Hi there

I'm South African who has been living in Dublin - Ireland the past 4 years now. We are an estimated 10,000 South Africans in Ireland at present and it seems like they still strolling into this country.

We are quite a large crowd of SA's who became good friends and who ever meets another 'lost SA soul' just very casually brings him/her into the circle which is expanding day by day. Its wonderful to have them in my life - so far away from home - and I sometimes wonder if my life abroad would have been as much fun without the South Africans around me.

Typical South African nothing happens in any one of our lives without the rest knowing or finding out about it. You tell someone something and the telephone lines are on fire! Who ever meets someone special – everyone else knows. If someone got a wee bit tipsy on a night out and made some 'skandes' - everyone else knows. When we feel homesick or lonely - someone is there to entertain you or very unexpectedly a 'home party' is being organised.

The interesting thing is that I sometimes wonder who would have been really friends if we met in South Africa where 'class' is such a big issue. In our circle are gays, single mothers, divorcees, married couples and single woman and men... people from all walks of life. In South Africa there always seemed to be so much emphasis on where we come from, where we live, what car we drive, who our friends are. Being away from home those things don't seem to matter most of the time. Its as if life is teaching us different values in a unknown country. It seems like the ones from upper class areas in South Africa is now staying among the middle class and drive second-hand cars or use public transport and just really don't care.

The ones who lived an average life back home is now maybe living in a bit of comfort - making a bit of money and living better lives. But no one seems to be envy of each other or 'to proud' to admit when times are a bit tuff. Suddenly life puts us all in the same class... and we all learn our lessons. We learn to appreciate having each other, having friends - not to judge each other - to help where we can and to really look after each other. We learn the value of family, and realise how deep family love really goes.

The majority of us have our 'dreams & plans' of going home one day. We all 'save' to buy that dream house to go home to one day... 'just need to save up a bit' is a general hearing. We all long home and SA is never really out of our minds or life. We are true South Africans and always proud to admit it with proud in our voices.

We sometimes have discussions for hours on about life. Who we are, where we from and I learned to appreciate the things that makes us true South Africans. Loud, full of life and laughter. I love the loudness when we all together... everyone talking at the same time. Typical funny SA saying that makes everyone laugh. To'langarm' on Kurt Darren in a country which is famous for its own music. To sit and listen to Annelie van Rooyen at 3am when the 'party is over' and the redwine is finish... all chilling out and thinking about home.

That is South Africans - that is our proud.

I needed to share this with someone who will appreciate where this comes from. Hope you enjoyed it.

Kind regards
Jenni D

Bits and Bobs

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Mind Massage
Money talks. And sometimes, we don't like what it has to say.

Here's a look at monkeying around with the concept of money.

Warmly,
Maya ;-)

Mindfulness and Money: Monkeying Around

Kasia is a talented landscape designer who speaks several languages, and when she jokes about being a 'Polish princess' it's because she actually has the pedigree to support that claim.

That's not why she's amazing. What's remarkable about Kasia is her ability to play with words in a creative way.

You don't have to speak five languages in order to play with words, but I'm guessing that playing with words is pretty helpful when you're trying to learn five languages! So, let's take a page from Kasia's multilingual notebook and see how she plays with one particular word in English.

The word? Money.

Now, Kasia could rattle off the appropriate word for 'money' in more than five languages if asked, but what she focuses on is tweaking that word so that it loses whatever negativity, scariness, or other baggage it might have for her.

So, whenever she hears or says the word 'money' she substitutes it in her own head with the word 'monkeys'--and watches how that completely shifts the tone.

Think about it. What if whenever you said, 'I don't have enough money for that' you instead said, 'I don't have enough monkeys for that'?

Or how about this: 'counting money' or 'saving money' becomes 'counting monkeys' or 'saving monkeys' instead.

Suddenly, those retirement plans and college savings programs don't seem so scary. In fact, they start to sound kind of fun and interesting.

Now, I'm not saying you can give up on the concept of money altogether and just joke around about the idea of financial security.

No, no, no. I'm saying that you can use this quirky little mindfulness technique to help you lighten up about an area that may cause a great deal of stress or frustration for you.

Money can be a pretty malleable concept, and depending on how we were raised (and a whole bunch of other factors), we develop our own sense of its value, importance, purpose, and possibilities.

Substituting the word 'monkey' for 'money' allows us to become more aware of the number of times per day we hear, see, or say that word, and it helps us zero in on the physical and psychological responses we may have as it triggers our own particular reaction.

Listen as you and others say the following phrases:

'If only I had enough monkeys for that!'

'I'm saving my monkeys to buy _____.'

'I need to make more monkeys.'

'When I have enough monkeys, I'll live the life of my dreams.'

'It seems like I'm constantly running out of monkeys.'

'My husband and I are always fighting about monkeys.'

and my personal favorite:

'Monkeys don't grow on trees, you know.'

I once spent a winter studying primates at Bucknell University in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania. I stood outside in the snow for hours making little notes about the Japanese snow monkeys I was observing. I became quite attached to them by simply watching them interact with each other.

They had their grouchy days, just like humans, but overall, they were lighthearted and playful even in their old age. And their demeanor could shift dramatically when one of them would initiate play--suddenly, there was much chasing and chattering before they all settled down again for a group grooming session.

In other words, things were unpredictable, but even during chaotic moments, they seemed to recognize that soon enough, they'd be hunkered down together quite calmly.

Money can be like that. You try hard to control it, but whether you invest in the stock market, real estate, college tuition, or orthodontia, there are times when you wonder why you bother at all. Just when you think things are going smoothly, something comes along and zaps a huge chunk out of your bank account.

Start viewing money management as monkey management, and you'll begin to feel lighter about the whole process of saving and spending. There are benefits to controlling your finances, no doubt about it. But there are also advantages to seeing money as an unpredictable and even amusing character that sparks greater mindfulness and helps us see what matters most.

Try a little monkey mindfulness whenever you write checks or make a deposit. Picture them having a swingin' good time in your bank account, and grin a little even as they leave the compound.

There will be others climbing in soon enough

Monkey Management

When I was a kid, my family didn't have much money. In fact, I spent five years living in a tarpaper-covered garage with my parents and two of my brothers.

We were always acutely conscious of pay day, and recognized when to downsize our school lunches accordingly.

So, it's not surprising that I viewed money from a scarcity perspective. The good thing about this is that I am really frugal and good at saving. The bad thing is that there have been times in my life when I have been horribly stressed about money.

I've learned a lot about both mindfulness and mon(k)ey management over the years, and my family's current move to Mexico would never be possible without a complete shift in the way I view those dollars and pesos.

It's not that I suddenly got rich. It's that I suddenly got clear. I'm laughing at those monkeys on a daily basis, and I can show you how to do that, too.

My approach bears no resemblance to those let-me-show-you-how-to-become-a-millionaire-next-month deals.

Instead, we're going to play right through a transformative process in which you completely change the way you view money.

Watch for my Mindfulness and Money ecourse coming in September!

Questions? Send me an email at Maya@MassageYourMind.com

More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys

There are loads of fun mindfulness triggers all around you.

Would you like a list of, say, 101 ways to get calm, clear and creative?

Or perhaps you'd prefer a lighthearted romp through mindfulness via haiku?

Maybe you're ready to receive your own secret mindfulness mission right there in your email box every three days.

Why not try all three tools for merry mindfulness?

To learn more about how you can start playing around with greater awareness, visit

http://www.real-worldmindfulness.com/products.htm

NOTE: Fun is goooooooood. Mindfulness is goooooooood.
Fun mindfulness is verrrrrrryyyy goooooooood.

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Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she offers playful and powerful eyes-wide-open ways to get calm, clear and creative. To receive her free special report, 'The Dirty Little Secret About Meditation,' visit her website at MassageYourMind.com
(C) Copyright 2005, Maya Talisman Frost
**********************************

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52 Best Stories – Let’s dance
As a gift I went to Corpus Christi for an afternoon of simulator training to be qualified to ride in the second seat of a F-15 fighter. The invitation then came three weeks later to go to a carrier in the Gulf of Mexico to ride off its deck in a real fighter. I had a business meeting that I couldn't miss. The invitation never came again. I will always remember the invitation for the F-15 flight. But, I can't remember the business meeting that was so essential to attend.

With Kind Regards, Sandy

Dear Bertha,

Now that I am 83 years old, I find that I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $48.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now

I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing... I'll never know. .

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God. People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.

~ Author Unknown ~

http://www.52best.com/dance.asp

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Northern Lighties
How to do a lightning tour of parts of the US and Canada in three days or “1600km’s, a million trees, mega gallons of water and thousands of towns as a background blur”

Day 3

For some reason the hotel I am staying at has a “Wave Pool” in the middle of the accommodation. I wanted to try it out the night before but apparently it is switched off at night so as not to disrupt the guests.
Which is odd, because the sound of waves is far more soporific than a million air-conditioners going full bore. Not that I mind considering the deep sleep that I was in. Which, as per usual, was interrupted by the chambermaid kicking the door down.
So I look outside the window and once again it is raining.
We have had an incredibly hot summer so I shouldn’t really complain but why after three months of sun does it decide to rain when I need to take pictures and drive around?
Which is when I remember that it is my birthday.
So I sing “Happy Birthday to Me” in the shower, which no doubt kept any further chambermaids well away from disturbing me. At least that allows me to pack up and move out into the rain.
Actually I was not that far from the Rideau Canal so I took a drive along the Canal to get to the Houses of Parliament.
Oddly enough the pictures that you see of the Canal when you look in guidebooks don’t give you the full splendor of what an engineering marvel it is.

The Rideau Canal Waterway, which links the lakes and rivers between Ottawa and Kingston, a distance of 202 Km is the oldest continuously operated canal in North America. The locks are operated today much as they were when first opened in 1832
The canal was one of the greatest engineering feats of the 19th century requiring the construction of 24 dams and 46 locks and came about because of the 1812 War when the British in Canada were worried that the Americans would not allow access to ports and so they constructed the canal to link Montreal and Kingston. You may think it odd that Ottawa wasn’t the intended destination but Ottawa didn’t exist then.
At the Ottawa River end of the Canal, head engineer, Lieutenant Colonel John By, founded a community called Bytown. It later changed its name to Ottawa and became the Capital of Canada.
So the Canal really created Canada’s Capitol.
About the only problem with the canal is that there is no parking area anywhere along the canal that will allow you to admire its beauty.
And the rain kept on falling.
Which made it hard to take pictures and for some reason the roads were full of traffic. Maybe, as a town full of bureaucrats, life only starts moving after 9am or in some cases apparently 10am.
The cops however are reasonably friendly. Thanks to a spate of road repairs around Parliament I found myself in the bus lane, which is a big no-no, and alongside an OPP car. I asked him how to get to Sussex Drive (see I can be taught to ask for directions) and he told me how to do it. Including, I might add, an illegal U-turn in front of him. Which I did. Much to the consternation of the few pedestrians watching.
So I found Sussex Drive and proceeded along it when two things happened.
The rain stopped and there in front of me was a shop named Chilly Chiles. In case you don’t know I am a Chilli-Head. I love hot sauces.
This shop would be akin to a bottle store for an alcoholic.
So I pulled in by the market, parked, and walked in telling the young ladies behind the counter that I was sure I would hate the shop.
And I do.
The choice was unbelievable. I could have spent thousands there. In fact..... Well No. I didn’t but I spent enough as it is. Put it on the Visa. Let my bank manager worry for a change.
I strolled around singing Happy Birthday to me again and handing bottles to two very plussed (as opposed to nonplussed) young ladies behind the desk.

Satan’s Blood, So Sue Me, Toxic Waste and Dave’s Insanity Sauce went in the bag. But pride of place must go to Mad Dog357 with a Scoville rating of 1million. When you realise that Tabasco is only 50 Scoville you get some understanding of how hot that is.
I had to sign a waiver stating that I would not sue them if anything went wrong while eating it! The lady told me that it comes with a tiny spoon to use to measure out the droplets. As she put it:
“It even has a crack spoon to use for safety”
“Which crack would that be given the heat strength?” I asked.
This passed so far over their heads that I felt compelled to go back and buy some more.
All good things come to an end however (and that was a clever joke as well by the way) and so I staggered out with my horde and decided that I should really try to see some sights.
So back up to Wellington Street to see Parliament. With a million other immigrants it appeared. Busloads of the bug…potential citizens.
Parliament is undergoing some renovations so there appear to be great white sheets draped over various edifi. The most interesting thing though is that after all the pictures I have seen I was expecting the park in front to be much longer and not quite so close to the city. It is however quite close to the buildings nearby. One of which is the most impressive Hotel I have seen and then of course the building housing the Supreme Court is on the other side. This is the back entrance where apparently you aren’t allowed to go. You had better not ask how I was in the area behind there. No spikee inglis!

All of the buildings have a strong European flair to them. I was interested to see how much, both in Ottawa and Montreal, the old buildings dominated while in Torruna we seem to feel that concrete and glass monstrosities are the epitome of architecture.
Ottawa has a good mixture of the two.
So after admiring the various churches, banks and hotels that still have some splendour
in their makeup I went back down to the Ottawa River and took a journey along the River Parkway again. At least this time I knew where I was and where I was going.
I am impressed with the bicycle /jogging paths they have erected on the scenic views in this city. Of course in their eagerness to do this they have forgotten to allow vehicles places to admire the view as well but that may also be a result of deliberate action on the part of the authorities.

So I parked in the Government parking at one stage. Hell I pay their salary so why should they have all the best parking? Next thing you know they will start thinking that our money is theirs to abuse. Start using it to bribe Quebec or something.
This time I found the 417 easily and proceeded to go toward Carleton Place.
Now you have to remember this is road repair season so every few miles on the highway we had to slow down and watch the workers standing around talking. Of course, in line with the safety aspect inherent in protecting their rights to unhindered tea breaks, this means that the roads are narrowed from 10kms before the area of intended disruption to 10kms afterwards.
This stops once you get off the highway and onto a two-lane road. I suppose they reckon that the general decrepit state of these roads make it safer to drive slowly anyway.
At Carleton Place I hung a right and headed north.
Remember I had found another Clayton while being a guest of HM Customs the day before?
Well this was the way to go to get there. Up to Almonte and then hang a left. Shortly thereafter I came upon a large lake with lots of impressive cottages along the shores. The sort of mansions that Canadians seem to think should be referred to as cottages.

I little further on I came upon the local trailer park. While it had a lovely logo and good shore views the people hanging around the store reminded me ever so much of the types from the “dueling banjos” portion of the film from way back when. I am rather glad I am a large fellow sometimes. And if I look like a ne’er do well to Customs hopefully that is carried over to other types as well.

At first I thought that Lake Clayton was the dot on the map but there is also a town there as well. Which I came upon about a minute later.

So I had a drive around to see if there was any activity or shop. Actually there was one corner store which seemed to be a gas station, store, post office, library and general anything store. Rather like those General Dealer stores in every klein dorp all over S.A.
Only this one was closed.
Gone Fishing!
The whole outside stoep of the store had merchandise left out and I guess the honour system still works out there. I was astonished to note one of the inhabitants drive up and put in gas and then leave the money in a box. There was a bookcase with hundreds of books in it that I took to be a sort of lending library.
A little way up the street I came upon the most amazing house made out of wood. The intricate artwork and carvings is astonishing. I think it was called Moon House or one of those esoteric names that arty farty types will insist on calling their abodes but nevertheless it was quite a sight.

“OK This is Clayton then. Time to move on” I thought and proceeded to drive on through town.
Which is when I saw something that made my jaw drop and changed my plans again.

My faith in the ability of Claytonions to be politically incorrect and annoying is restored completely. So now I had to get a baseball cap with Clayton Studs on it.
But where?
No problem. I just stop one of the locals and launch into my spiel about the name and where can I get a cap etc etc. I am getting used to the bemused look on most Canadians faces when they deal with me. I am still astonished though at how they will at least go out of their way to be helpful. Which is what this chap at least tried to do.
I now know that there are caps available, that if he had been able to contact one of his pals we could have got one and that I will be going back to source one at some later stage. Probably more than one because my sons need those caps. Oh boy do they ever need those caps.
So still chuckling I headed back to Carleton Place.
Where I decided to go to Smiths Falls, which is more or less due south. And home to the Rideau Canal Museum, the Railway Museum of Eastern Ontario and of course the World Famous (in Canada at least) Hershey factory.

Here is a slight hint.
If you are going to visit the Hershey Factory do not do it during school vacation. If you are looking for genuine factory prices then do not be surprised at the factory to discover that you may, if you are lucky, get 10% discount. In most cases the prices were on a par with outside prices.
I also seemed to be there with every snotty, loudmouthed, wailing, whining, and ill-mannered brat this side of the equator.
Which is why I walked in and then walked straight out again.
On my way back to the road to get to Perth now I chanced upon the Railway museum. If you like trains or even model railways this is a worthwhile visit.

The Rideau Canal museum is also worth a visit. Situated on the canal at the bottom of the main street you can get an amazing understanding of the history of the canal and see the current canal in operation as well.

So with a few side distractions I was on my way to Perth.
Which turned out to be another quaint town whose main claim to fame appears to be a Garlic festival.

I watched what appeared to be HM Customs going through a boat with the same zeal that they went through my car where the photo of the fountains were taken. I am still puzzled as to why they were doing that and what the heck was going on but with my track record I thought discretion was the better part of valour and moved on.
My destination now was Peterborough, some 200 odd kms west and through the Land o’Lakes district.
This then is my Canada.
Trees, Lakes and undulating countryside with very little habitation and a peaceful atmosphere that just screams tranquility.
Hundreds of lakes alongside the highway with names like Silver Lake, White Lake, Black Lake and myriad names from the First Nations tribes that once inhabited the area.
I drove for hundreds of miles with lakes on either side of me and visible through the trees.
Trees that sometimes towered to heights that I can only estimate at roughly 80 to 100 feet tall.
And motels at last.
Ranging from totally decrepit to slightly ostentatious there were motels all along the route.
In fact this, and the ubiquitous roadside stalls, appear to be one of the main means of commerce along that road. Every five seconds there was a stall with homemade blueberry pies and blueberry konfyt and wild blueberries on sale. Each one apparently offering the best value before... before... well the next one I suppose.
I was in my element though. There is a standing joke with my children that I can’t go anywhere without looking for water and trees to take photo’s of.
So here are some in order to at least keep their cynicism alive and prove that I do find water and trees interesting. Mind you, if you have been paying attention you may have picked up on that already!

I was so engrossed in the scenery that before I knew it I was at Peterborough. Well through Peterborough actually. I decided to take the bypass instead so that I could get to Highway 7A and head out to Lake Scugog.
Highway 7A goes over Lake Scugog but you wouldn’t actually know it if you didn’t look at a map. The marsh like conditions at the southern end where the highway is make it seem as if the lake is to the north of the road when in actual fact the road cuts through the Southern most point of the Lake and ends at Port Parry.
Which is just North of Oshawa and not that far from home.
Well maybe 100kms as the drunken crow flies?
So I traveled along through Aurora and watched all the familiar Toronto streets go past. Mind you they were now merely roads and minor ones at that but the names were familiar again and I knew that now it was going to be hard for me to get lost. I would have to try consciously to get lost this time as opposed to merely accepting my fate.
Which meant that just after sunset I arrived home.
Almost 1600kms to the mile (Yes I know …it is a figure of speech OK?) and three days later.
And a bit of money less too I suppose.
Mind you even with all the gas it only comes to around $500. I think.Anyway I got to see masses of different places and people, thoroughly enjoy myself and get away from it all for a while.
Was it worth it?
Hell Yes!
But next time I think I need someone to come along with me. If for no other reason than that they at least can lean out the window and take snapshots as we whiz past. And maybe HM Customs will merely assume that I have been on a dirty weekend and stop hassling me for a change!
In fact I think I need to go into work on Tuesday and put in for some more vacation time in September.
Now where can I do a lightening tour then?

The Legal Beagle

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Legal Beagle - SA
Hi

We are in the process of obtaining US citizenship as we have been living in the USA for the past 8 years, our two SA born children ages 13 and 11 have current SA passports as do we, our US born child also has a SA passport,

Here is the question. When we travel to SA I believe that we will be able to leave the USA on our US passports and then need to enter SA on South African passport and then leave SA on south African passport, Now when one goes to check in as the airport, they check for a valid visa (or in our case Citizenship) to enter the USA, how should we approach this matter regarding passports. Do we show both when we enter and leave the country; do we need a special letter pertaining dual citizenship from the SA
Government?

I'm sure this is a grey area and your advice will be appreciated.

Thanks
Chris


Dear Chris,

The situation is rather complex as you are required in terms of the 2004 amendment to SA citizenship act to enter and leave South African soil on a South African passport if you're a South African citizen, which you indeed are.

Based on the premise that you will be applying for US citizenship shortly it would my advice to you that in order to be able to comply with law that you apply for a determination of your status to confirm your South African citizenship status and then urgently and immediately apply for a retention of your South African citizenship status based on the determination.

I must stress that this must be done prior to your taking up citizenship of United States of America as section six (1) respect of the 1995 citizenship act will deprive you of your South African citizenship status automatically if you, whilst not being a minor, acquired citizenship of another country by way of a "formal and voluntary act" such as the acquisition of American citizenship. The loss is automatic and only way you can restore your right would be to resume citizenship in South Africa if you returned. Your children would not be affected but I would suggest that they apply for retentions either way as this may impact on them lay take in life.

I can be of assistance to professionally processing all of the above in South Africa. I will gladly quote you in respect of our professional fees. The only other alternative available to you and to ensure that you comply with the law would be for you to do a formal renunciation of your South African citizenship status which would have to be done at the nearest South African embassy to where you reside.

Regards,
Julian

Help Desk

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Nobody needing help this week.

Where are they now?

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If you are looking for a lost friend... if you would like old friends to contact you... If you want to find old school friends... if you just want people who used to know you to find you again for a chat...

Send in your info, the info of anyone you are looking for and let’s see if we can find them for you!

Looking for Karen Bowker in Port Elizabeth.

Last known address - Ranelly Court in Newton Park. Has two daughters Lindsay and Alison.

At one time worked for Fedsure. She is a long time friend - lost touch somehow when I moved to Canada - and cannot seem to locate her.

She never failed to remember my birthday yet I haven't heard from her for a number of years.

Please e-mail Linda Swanepoel at lindas@facmail.com if you have any information.

Club and Other News

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No news is good news?

Humour

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Jerusalem
This from DanielJan LeRoux

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for 60 years...

So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f***ng brick wall!"

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The Guys’ Story
This from Matthew Green

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side:

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Super Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Worth a groan or two
More from Matthew

Q: Who was Tonto looking for in the bank?
A: The Loan Arranger.

Q: What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
A: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your mummy back"

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.

Q: What's a cat's favorite breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

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Way out man.....
This from Candice Hendriksz

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.

He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!

The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "HEY, Monkey!"

The Monkey looks down and says "Whoooooaaaa, dude... how much water did you drink?"

Recipes

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Here's a recipe I just found on the net... seems quite easy to make.

Mealie Soup (Corn Soup)

2 ounces butter
1 cup finely chopped onions
2 tomatoes, chopped
2 cups canned whole corn, well drained
2 cups creamed corn
1 can evaporated milk
3 cups chicken stock
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper.

In a large saucepan, heat the butter over moderate heat. Add the onions and saute for 5 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes and cook for a few minutes. Add the corn, milk, stock, salt, and pepper, and simmer for 15 minutes. Serve with crackers.

Sports News

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'Big Vince' starts new spell
As a player Vincent van der Bijl was an absolute colossus - and that same greatness he will now have to show as an administrator when it will be announced in Durban on Monday that he is to be appointed as Cricket South Africa's (CSA) first manager of professional cricket.

Boks go into cup final mode
Jake White and his triumphant Springboks set up a temporary base in Sydney on Sunday in the first phase of what the coach called the biggest week of their rugby lives.

Freitag returns to form
Jacques Freitag, South Africa's former world high jump champion, seemed to be returning to better form when he finished second at the annual high jump festival in Eberstadt, Germany on Sunday with an encouraging 2.30 metres.

Credits and Contact Info

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