South Africans Worldwide Newsletter

A belated Easter wish to all readers.

On Saturday, it was a treat to be able to watch the live TV coverage of the Two Oceans Marathon & Ultra-marathon. The runners were so very lucky with excellent weather, as in the fairest Cape one can never be sure of that. See more in the Sport column.

On the weather front, South Africa is of course in autumn, yet this week a large inland part of the country experienced a wet cold front until midweek. Once again dams received copious amounts of inflow.

One of the joys of autumn on the Highveld are the large fields full of the beautiful, colourful weed - the Cosmos flowers. They were all looking very happy with the late rains, as they generally should’ve disappeared by now. So I’ve added these photos to remind Readers living far away.

Last week I wrote about the shortage of Avgas - as used in petrol-engined aero engines. Well, the shortage continues, but the media still remains very silent about it. At only a few stockists there remains a ever-dwindling supply of Avgas. This shortage continues to impact seriously on pilots, engineers and admin/ marketing staff, who now face a serious shortage of income.

What can we do about this problem? We can continue to lobby the refineries and their logistics to hasten the production & supply of Avgas. What about lobbying the politicians as well?

Luckily for me, my client last week, had secured a private cache of Avgas with which he filled his pressurized Piper Malibu. Thus I was able to ferry his aircraft quite uneventfully from Cape Town to Rand Airport near Johannesburg. Getting to the Cape proved more difficult as all scheduled flights were over-booked, due to the Two Oceans Marathon & Easter weekend. Even the Road Lodge at the Cape Town International Aiport, where I over-nighted, was 100% occupied! Just trying to drive there on utterly congested roads was a nightmare!

By comparison, flying myself was totally stress-free, and then as roads out of Rand Airport to home had only normal light traffic, it made that part of the journey a breeze!

Till next week.

Theo

Letters to the Editor TOP

From Cooking Bear newsletter

‘Natal Bronze’ butterfly sighted in the KZN Midlands

Conservationists and Environmentalists are excited by the recent sighting of the very rare Natal Bronze butterfly (Poecilmitis petraea). The Natal Bronze is thought, by some, to be closely related to the Natal Copper (Poecilmitis lycegenes), which can be found in the hills and koppies of Balgowan.

Approached for comment, international butterfly expert Mr. Georgiou Lepidopteris* said, "I am delighted by this rare opportunity to determine if the butterfly is a unique species or is a cross between the Natal Copper and the Natal Tin (Poecilmitis cannus)."

It is understood that the Natal Bronze larvae feeds exclusively on indigenous Redgrass Themeda-dominated grassland including Wild Oatgrass (Monocymbium ceresiiforme) found only in the Mist-belt Grasslands and sensitive microhabitats of the Caversham Valley where the few remaining Mist-belt Grasslands are under threat of total destruction.

Environmentalists and concerned residents have suggested that the area be declared a protected natural habitat. They propose that development projects be put on hold until the effects of the destruction of the butterfly’s breeding and feeding habitat and the effect on ecological corridors for the flight and migration of rare species can be properly scoped and debated.

Caversham Valley resident Pierre V. Estibulè comments “it is important that developers respect delicate natural habitats and that potentially destructive developments are carefully monitored”. It is estimated that only 1,0% of Natal Mistbelt ecosystems remain undisturbed.

[* Lepidoptorist -a butterfly-man-Caversham Valley: 1st April 2006]

Quote/s of the Week TOP

This from Maureen Cram:
Never wear anything that panics the cat. - PJ O'Rourke

This from Daniel Jan le Roux:
I succeed on my own personal motivation, dedication, and commitment... My mindset is: If I'm not out there training, someone else is. - Lynn Jennings

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. - Charles Schwab

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision merely passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. - Joel Arthur Barker

Acknowledgements to:- http://www.businessbyphone.com

Life Recipes TOP

My Mother, My Friend

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" asked the young mother as he set her foot on the path of life. And the Guide said,

"Yes, and the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

The young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike, and reminded them to feed the dog and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms. The children said,

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

Read the rest of the story here... http://www.52best.com

News from Kiwiland TOP

Jan Coetsee is still busy, so we all have to wait patiently.

Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week TOP

Heaviest traffic heads for Limpopo. The annual Pilgrimage...

“The N1 was South Africa's road carrying the heaviest Easter Weekend traffic out of Gauteng on Friday morning when 1 700 vehicles passed northern Pretoria between 10 am and 11am.

At 5pm the evening before, Department of Transport counters tallied 3 700 vehicles heading in the direction of Polokwane”, said spokesperson Collen Msibi. “Many of these were Zion Christian Church members on their annual pilgrimage to Moria in Limpopo,” he said.

Read more here... http://www.iol.co.za

ZIMBABWE: Govt denies militarising state, goal is economic rescue

As inflation hit a new high of 913 percent, bringing a 12-fold rise in the cost of essentials, the Zimbabwean government defended using security and intelligence personnel to oversee the revival of the economy, described as the fastest shrinking in the world outside of a war zone. Last month, local media reported that the government had formed a economic and food security revival body, known as the Zimbabwe National Security Council, with officials from the Central Intelligence Organisation, the army, police, prison services and the Registrar-General's office, to oversee and enhance the capacity of ministries.

Government ministers denied that there was a militarisation of basic government functions, and maintained that the move was to improve food security, foreign exchange reserves and service delivery, among other issues.

The country has been grappling with food shortages for the past four years, partly because of inadequate rain and the country's fast-track land reform programme. Lack of foreign currency has affected the country's capacity to import basic requirements such as fuel, medicines and agricultural inputs. Most essential commodities and services, including education, are now beyond the reach of ordinary Zimbabweans, who earn less than US $100 a month. This week schools, including those run by the government, said they would increase tuition fees by almost 1,000 percent from next month.

See related reports: http://www.irinnews.org, http://www.irinnews.org

Three Zim ministers loot govt farm

A farm meant to be a showpiece for the Zimbabwean government’s land reform programme is lying derelict because three senior Zanu-PF ministers have looted essential equipment. Members of the military disclosed this to Vice-President Joice Mujuru during her tour of Manicaland recently.

Army units are routinely deployed by the government to run appropriated enterprises and intimidate the populace.

Kondozi farm in Odzi was once a thriving horticultural enterprise that exported fresh vegetables to various European markets and earned an annual US$15million dollars in foreign exchange, employing about 5 000 people as seasonal workers. The farm was appropriated by the state two years ago.

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

ANGOLA: Cholera outbreak worsens, MSF treats 500 new cases in 48 hours

The UN Children's Fund (UNICEF) in Angola warned this week that heavy rain had worsened the cholera outbreak in the country and more deaths could be expected. The waterborne disease, which is associated with poor sanitation and access to potable water, has claimed 142 lives and 3,321 cases have been reported in the northwestern provinces of Luanda, Bengo and Kwanza Norte, and the central coastal province of Benguela; 2,179 of the cases were reported in the capital city, which has seen over 50 deaths.

Full report: http://www.irinnews.org

SWAZILAND: Pro-democracy activists arrested

Eight people were injured and at least 25 pro-democracy activists were arrested by the South African police during a protest blockade of the country's borders with Swaziland. Several hundred members of the Congress of South African Trade Unions, the Swaziland Solidarity Network (a pro-democracy NGO), the South African Communist Party and its youth wing held demonstrations at the five border crossing points in support of what was described as Swazi's struggle for freedom, democracy and human rights.

Political parties are banned in the mountain kingdom ruled by King Mswati III, sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch. The country has the 'Tinkhundla' system of government, in which Swazis living under palace-appointed chiefs elect MPs who vote on laws prepared by the king's hand-picked cabinet.

Full report: http://www.irinnews.org

LESOTHO: NGO calls for audit of dam construction tenders

Following allegations of corruption, Transformation Resource Centre, a local NGO, has appealed for an audit of the tenders allocated in the Lesotho Highlands Water Project (LHWP), the world's largest water transfer operation. The appeal came after reports of a second bribery case in connection with the project.

Several companies involved in the project have been investigated after allegations of corruption and bribery. Two of them, Lahmeyer International, Germany's largest engineering consultancy and Acres International, a Canadian construction firm, have been convicted and fined.

Full report: http://www.irinnews.org

Bulldog drowns in ocean

Plettenberg Bay - Harriet, a bulldog that often swims in the sea with her owner, got into difficulties in the ocean on Friday when she swam out to greet a boat landing near Keurbooms river mouth off Robberg beach in Plettenberg Bay. National sea rescue institute (NSRI) spokesperson Craig Lambinon said a massive search was launched for the animal, but searchers fear Harriet has drowned.

Read more here... http://www.news24.com

Why was my flight overbooked?

Ramblings by Mike Preston

Most people who travel frequently by air will have heard of 'overbooking'. The less fortunate will have experienced overbooking first hand and may have been denied boarding for the flight on which they were booked.

Frustrating as it is, overbooking is a vital part of every airline's management systems and an essential tool in maximising revenue for every seat on every flight. Although it is tempting for the travelling public to assume that maximising revenue equals profit and to equate this with greed, it must be borne in mind that less revenue equals higher fares.

An airline seat is a highly perishable commodity, with a finite cut off point after which it has no value. As soon as the aircraft's doors close, unsold seats instantly lose 100% of their potential value - perhaps thousands of dollars. Most merchandise does not have such a finite point at which its value is instantly reduced to nil.

Each flight, according to numerous parameters, has a 'profile' which allows the systems to determine how many passengers will fail to show up. For example, flights which have high 'no show' rates are early morning flights from cities with bad traffic problems on the roads accessing the airport, especially when the flight operates a route on which there is a frequent service. There are other reasons why booked passengers may not use their seats, for example when through no fault of their own they miss a connection from another flight.

Businessmen who have paid full fares which incur no penalty for last minute changes or cancellations will often fail to show up, or will hold duplicate bookings on several flights and fail to cancel unwanted reservations. The airlines do attempt to discourage such selfish behaviour, but it is never possible to police it to 100% accuracy.

In order to prevent the lost revenue opportunities of empty seats, the airlines will evaluate, based on past statistics, how many passengers are likely to 'no show' for a particular flight, and will overbook by the same number of seats. Most of the time, they get it right. When they don't, either the flight has empty seats, or booked passengers cannot be accommodated.

When this happens, the airline will usually ask for volunteers to accept compensation for 'voluntary offloading', and those who accept will be offered money or travel vouchers to travel on a later flight or on a different routing to their destination. In addition, meal and accommodation expenses may be offered.

If this does not produce the required result, then passengers will be denied boarding according to certain criteria - very often those who checked in last will be denied boarding and will be compensated. Naturally there’s an upside to this! You may have wanted to spend an extra night in Honolulu, or even Benoni, with full board and lodging paid for by the airline, and then be upgraded when you fly out the next day.

So next time you are told that your flight is overbooked, remember this, and above all, remember that the check-in agent behind the desk is only the bearer of the bad news – it is not his or her fault! By keeping cool and courteous, but firm, you may well be able to negotiate extra benefits over and above the standard compensation offered. I have frequently done so.

[Agreed... this week with heavy over-booking on the Cape route - due to the Two Oceans Marathon & Easter - SAA laid on a extra flight, so I had only a short delay- Editor]

Bits and Bobs TOP

Cape tourism boom sparks plans for 4 hotels

Four brand new hotels will be built at the V&A Waterfront in response to the growth in tourism to Cape Town and the hosting of the 2010 soccer World Cup in South Africa. Two of the hotels will be three-star hotels, aimed at the domestic market. Western Cape premier Ebrahim Rasool announced the R1,5 billion development at a press conference in the city on Thursday.

Waterfront CEO Derrick van der Merwe said: "This facility is critical to our tourism and investment in the Western Cape, so we should be interested in its plans. Cabinet is excited that in this financial year alone, the Waterfront is seeing development to the value of R1.5 billion.

Read more here... http://www.iol.co.za.

UK can send Zimbabweans back

London - The British government has won an appeal against a court ruling which had effectively barred it from deporting failed asylum seekers back to Zimbabwe. In a decision which could have serious implications for scores of Zimbabweans seeking asylum in Britain, a British appeal court judge overturned an earlier ruling from the country's asylum and immigration tribunal (AIT).

Read more here... http://www.news24.com

Mayor guilty of church massacre

A United Nations court sentenced a former Rwandan mayor to 15 years' imprisonment for his role in the deaths of 1 000 people in the country's 1994 genocide on Thursday. The international criminal tribunal for Rwanda found Paul Bisengimina guilty of crimes against humanity. The UN court had accepted a plea bargain - Bisengimina, 58, pleaded guilty to two counts of murder and extermination and the prosecution dropped eight other charges.

Read more here... http://www.news24.com/

Of paper planes and aviation aspirations

Building a paper airplane and thrusting it into the air is probably something everyone has done before. But for three South African aspiring pilots, their featherweight gliders have landed them a position to compete in the first international Red Bull Paper Wings competition in Salzburg, Austria in May this year.

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

Zim land invaders target SA farmers

A fresh wave of farm takeovers hit the southeastern Lowveld in Zimbabwe this week with Zanu-PF supporters and land officers seizing five plots with a ready-to-harvest sugarcane crop.

The farm owners, most of them South Africans, have since appealed to the South African Embassy in Harare to intervene, reports the Zimbabwe Independent.

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

Zimbabwe- Politicians take to the pulpit

As all hopes of economic and political salvation fade, President Robert Mugabe’s Cabinet members are turning to God. Six years into the country’s worst economic recession, six key members of the ruling Zanu-PF party are now messengers of God. But what is not clear is whether this latest development is coming from the heart or is driven by politics.

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

The Legal Beagle TOP

No one seems to need help.

Help Desk TOP

No one seems to need help.

Where are they now? TOP

Nobody is looking.

Club and Other News TOP

Station.lu Information Alert

The South African Freedom Day is being celebrated at the Abbaye de Neumunster on Sunday 30 April. From midday until 20:30 in the evening, the day will be filled with lots of things to do.

International Wine and Food Events

Excerpt from Natalie MacLean's Nat.Decants Newsletter-with permission
http://postsnet.com

Canadian Events

Tempting Tempranillo - A Spanish Wine Tasting & Tapas will be held April 21 at 7 pm at Nicholas Hoare Bookstore, 419 Sussex Drive in Ottawa, Ontario. Join The Savvy Grapes sommeliers Debbie Trenholm and Jean-Sébastien Morin for this memorable evening where all of the red wines are made with Spain's "national" grape, Tempranillo. Jean-Sébastien was first introduced to Spain in the late 1980s while studying there and he returned in 1992 to work at the World Fair in Seville. He is eager to share with you his passion for Spanish wines and cuisine as he leads this wine tasting with stories of his travels and uncovers the uniqueness of Spanish wines. Admission is $50 + GST or designated drivers $45 + GST. For information, call Debbie Trenholm at 613-851-1785, e-mail debbie@thesavvygrapes.com or visit tempranillo tasting.

An Australian Wine Dinner will be held April 25 at 7 pm at Juniper Kitchen and Wine Bar in Ottawa, Ontario. A six-course dinner featuring the wines of Wolf Blass and Penfolds hosted by Mark Bruni, the national manager for Foster's Wine Estates. (Natalie's comment: This is a fabulous restaurant!) Admission is $95 (plus taxes and gratuity). For information, call Stephane Desjardins at 613-728-0220, e-mail emmayou@sympatico.ca or visit Australian wine dinner.

Nova Scotia Kitchen Party winemaker's dinner will be held May 2 at 6:30 pm at Lapointe's Restaurant at 194 Robertson Road in Ottawa, Ontario. Nova Scotia award-winning wines, a fiddler and plenty of seafood. At this winemaker's dinner, you will have the opportunity to meet the people involved in the province's growing wine industry: owner of Jost Vineyards, Hans Christian Jost and Halifax sommeliers Sean Buckland and Mark DeWolf. Admission is $85 plus GST (gratuities included). For information, call Debbie Trenholm at 613-851-1785, e-mail debbie@thesavvygrapes.com or visit N.S. wine dinner.

The 12th Annual WaterCan Embassy Dinner will be held May 5 at 6 p.m. at Aberdeen Pavillion/Landsdowne Park in Ottawa, Ontario. Meals and drinks served by over 40 diplomatic missions. Admission is $100 (includes $60 tax receipt). WaterCan supports water and sanitation initiatives in developing countries. For information, call Gary Pluim at 613-230-5182, e-mail gpluim@watercan.com or visit Watercan dinner.

Art & Vine will be held May 7 from 7:00pm - 10:00pm at the Ukrainian Orthodox Cathedral Hall, 1000 Byron Avenue in Ottawa, Ontario. Learn from a sommelier the art of pairing wine and cheese to create a unique taste experience, featuring tastings of New World wines and premium Canadian-made cheeses. Local Ottawa artist Barbara Saville will create a work of art for on-site auction. Admission is $50 per adult (19+ years). Benefits go to support the 2006 Pokrova Children's Ukrainian Arts Camp in Ottawa, a non-profit organization working to support the learning of Ukrainian culture. For information, call Halyna Beznaczuk at 613-596-5906 or e-mail halyna.beznaczuk@sympatico.ca.

American Events

Rivers of Chocolate Festival will be held April 30 from 1:00 PM - 5:00 PM at The Mountain Winery in Saratoga, California. The 10th Annual Rivers of Chocolate Festival will showcase the Bay Area's finest in chocolate, wine, and savory delights. Chocolatiers, restaurateurs and vintners will be on hand to create epicurean fantasies. Amid the sweeping view of the Santa Clara Valley and mountains, guests will be treated to big band music, cooking demonstrations, and a live auction. Admission is $100. Proceeds go to the EHC LifeBuilders' Youth Division, which provides two shelters for homeless and runaway youth, individual and family counseling; life skills education for youth anticipating discharge from foster care at age 18; a drop-in center and outreach services for youth, education mentors and workshops, case management for low-income immigrant families, and truancy abatement services. For information, call Melissa Struzzo at 408-539-2120, e-mail mstruzzo@ehclifebuilders.org or visit chocolate festival.

Flavors of Connecticut will be held May 8 at 6 pm at the Stamford Marriott in Stamford, Connecticut. Seventeen restaurants will be providing a five-course meal matched with wines. This is a benefit dinner for the American Liver Foundation's Connecticut Chapter. Admission is $200 per person. For information, call David Brai at 203-234-2022 or e-mail srestaurant@sbcglobal.net.

Merlot in May will be held May 12 from 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. in Calistoga, California. Hosted by Sterling Vineyards, Merlot in May features more than 230 merlots from 130 vintners, representing the wine regions of 9 countries. Chef Joey Altman will demonstrate the preparation of a special merlot-paired entrée. In the big top tent other regional food specialists offer a range of locally produced gourmet fare to sample. There is a trade (restaurateurs and retailers) and media preview from 1 p.m.–2 p.m. with the consumer portion from 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. General admission tickets are $45 and should be available for online purchase in mid-March at merlot in May or by calling (800) 709-7667.

CORK, A Red River Revel Wine Event will be held May 13 from 1 pm - 5pm at Festival Plaza Pavilion, 101 Crockett St in Shreveport, Louisiana. CORK is Shreveport/Bossier City's first wine festival, featuring approximately 100 fine wines for tasting, delicacies from sixteen of the area's restuarants, educational presentations from wholesalers and winemakers (including Don or Rhonda Carano with Ferrari-Carano Winery)and live music. All proceeds benefit the Red River Revel Arts Festival. Admission is $50. For information, call Sara Sullivan at 318-424-2676 ext. 33, e-mail ssullivan@gpmarketinginc.com or visit wine festival.

A Tour of Tuscany will be held April 23 at 6 pm at Seminara's Ristorante in Westport, Connecticut. A 5-course dinner including 8 Tuscan wines to match each course. Rick Eadie of Cork & Keg in Shelton CT will be your wines guide, David Brai your chef and Victoria Brai your hostess for the evening. Seating is limited to 40 people. Admission is $85 per person. For information, call David Brai at 203-222-8955, e-mail srestaurant@sbcglobal.net or visit tour of Tuscany.

The 2006 Roshambo Winery Rock Paper Scissors Championships will be held June 3 in Healdsburg, California. Fists and fingers vie for top spot and $1,700 purse at this outrageous event. Admission is $20 competitor, $10 spectator. For information, call Naomi Brilliant at 707-975 8876, e-mail naomi@roshambowinery.com or visit wine event.

The Bar Show will be held from June 4 to June 5 at 12 noon to 6 pm daily at Javits Center in New York, New York. An annual trade event for bar, nightclub, restaurant, liquor store industry professionals. Wine, sprit and beer sampling, with other products & services. Marie Brizard cocktail competition with first place winner going to France. Seminar series and New York Bar Crawl. Admission is $30 exhibits only/$60 seminars. For information, call Sharmayne Wesler at 860-677-0094, e-mail sharmayne@rdpgroup.com or visit bar show.

Pine Mountain Wine Festival will be held June 10 from noon to 4:00 pm at Pine Mountain Club, California. Wineries from Paso Robles, Los Olivos, San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara and Santa Maria will offer samples from their cellars, and gourmet food will be available for purchase from some of the dining establishments in the region. Admission is $30 advance or $50 at the door. Proceeds go to the Frankie Smith Viticultural/Vinicultural/Culinary Scholarship Fund. For information, call Wendy Worster at 661-242-3788, e-mail wendy@pinemountainwinefestival.com or visit wine festival.

Zinposium will be held from July 7 to July 9 at the Meritage Hotel, 875 Bordeaux Way in Napa, California. Zinfandel Advocates & Producers is announcing its second Zinposium, three days of tastings and seminars, an opportunity to interact with winemakers, to travel to the source for in-depth sensory experiences and to learn about the unique and diverse characteristics of zinfandel and how its versatility can translate into increased business. There will also be many tastings of zinfandels in sessions illustrating price point, region, marketing, food pairings and ageability. Members of the trade are welcome, as well as consumers. Admission is $295-375. For information, call J. Kodmur at 530-274-4900, e-mail corking@julieannkodmur.com or visit zinfandel seminars.

Winemaking 101 will be held from September 10 to September 12 from 9am - 6pm at Hope-Merrill House in Geyserville, California. Aspiring winemakers harvest their own grapes, de-stem and press them. In the spring, they return to blend and bottle and go home with two cases of their own wine. A hands-on event, lead by Graham Parnell, managing editor Of Vineyard & Management magazine. Admission is $1,300. For information, call Cosette Trautman-Scheiber at 800-825 4233, e-mail cosette@hope-inns.com or visit make your own wine.

Wine On The River will be held September 16 from 3 pm - 7 pm at Shelby Street Pedestrian Bridge in Nashville, Tennessee. Enjoy samples from over 300 wines, noshes from area restaurants, and live music in a unique atmosphere overlooking beautiful downtown Nashville. Admission is $40 Advance/$50 Day Of. The District is a non-profit organization comprised of local business, residents, and merchants of the downtown community. For information, call Janna Garner at 615-744-4776, e-mail jannagarner@clearchannel.com or visit wine festical.

International Events

Wine Australia International 2006 will be held from July 14 to July 17 at at the Sydney Convention & Exhibition Centre in Sydney, Australia. Wine Australia International 2006 will present the opportunity to explore the depth and diversity of Australian wine. The event is held every two years. Admission is $27.50. For information, call Michelle Patterson at 0011643-96994699, e-mail michelle@exhibitionmanagement.com or visit Wine Australia.

For more wine and food events, visit www.LocalWineEvents.com.

Humour TOP

The magistrate was scolding the accused: "This is the seventh time in three years that you are appearing in front of me! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Accused: "Nee F&& your honour, jy kan mos nie vir my blame as jy nie a promotion kan kry nie!" Sent by Mike Preston
_______________________________________________________________

A man comes into the E-Room and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
_______________________________________________________________

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"

After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not
for about twenty years-when my husband was alive."

Dr. Steven Swanson,
Corvallis, OR

Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in Johannesburg, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Learning the lingo in a land of slegs, tackies and stoeps

By Gerald Zwirn (Filed: 11/04/2006)

'What are slegs?" a puzzled visitor from the UK asked me the other day. It seems that, after landing at Johannesburg International, he hired a car and while heading towards the Great Metropolis found himself entering a lane marked SLEGS ONLY.

Unaware of the meaning and horrified lest he be contravening the country's traffic laws he managed to extricate himself by manouevring into an adjacent lane and so to safety.

In a country with 11 official languages it's no surprise that misunderstandings occur. South African English is a unique language and while in my friend's case no harm was done it did bring home to me the numerous linguistic oddities in a culture where dress becomes 'drag' and 'drag' becomes 'sleep'; where 'snake' becomes 'slang' and 'slang' becomes 'groeptaal'; and where 'night' becomes 'nag' and 'nag' becomes 'pla'.

For those readers interested in the peculiarities of South African English here are some of the more common examples.

STAY
"Where do you stay?" was, I think, the first question put to me on arrival in South Africa. Since I was neither staying at a hotel, game lodge or backpacker's kipdown I was stuck for an answer. Then the penny dropped: what I was being asked was simply: "Where do you live?"

ROBOT
SA English for traffic lights. Curiously enough, 'robot' is not an English word at all: it entered the English language circa 1920 when the Czech writer Karell Capek used it in his play R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots) to describe an automaton.

FUNDI
An expert or knowledgeable person working in a specialized field, typically computers, music etc. Its origin remains uncertain and it is generally omitted from all standard dictionaries.

BIOSCOPE
What the older generation used to call the cinema; now virtually obsolete.

STOEP
Best defined as a terraced veranda, stoep in SA parlance has come to mean any enclosed area in front of a house such as a patio or porch, hence stoep talk.

GENTS HERE
Usually found in hotels and restaurants, the HERE is not as superfluous as you might think: it is the Afrikaans word for 'Gentlemen'.

BROEKS
This seems to be a blanket term to describe any of the following garments: trousers, slacks, breeches, shorts, drawers, pants, panties, briefs or knickers.

BUTCHERY
Not 'the needless and cruel slaughter of innocent people' as defined by our dictionaries but merely SA English for your local butcher's shop.

VOETSTOOTS
This curious word is frequently used in SA English to describe the condition of any article offered for sale. Best translated as 'offered as it stands', it roughly corresponds to the Latin caveat emptor - 'let the buyer beware'.

TREK
Used to describe any form of difficult travel or hazardous journey, often exaggerated for effect.

TACKIE
SA English for British plimsolls, rubber-soled shoes worn for jogging or sport.

TICKEY
Formerly a small silver coin with a value of threepence. It was handy for making calls from a public telephone, hence the related piece of SA English TICKEY-BOX.

And finally - if you haven't yet worked it out, 'slegs' is the Afrikaans word for 'only'.

Recipes TOP

Pickled fish

Malay pickled fish is a Cape speciality. Learn how it's made, and variations on the pickled fish theme.

Here are two basic methods of pickling fish.

The old-fashioned way involves packing salted-down fish into a crock or jar and covering with boiling brine. If this method is practiced, home-picklers are advised to freeze fish first for at least 48 hours in case tapeworms are present in the flesh. This method works great for previously frozen catch or store-bought frozen fish. When pickling fish this way, use only high-grade distilled vinegar, course pickling salt, fresh spices, and earthen crock or glass jars as metal containers may cause discoloration or "tinny" taste.

The other method is the ideal, flavourful way to preserve fresh fish without freezing it. It involves gently poaching fish in boiling brine or, as the Malays do, frying them (sometimes coated in flour) before putting into crock with the other ingredients, which are also cooked. In the unlikely event that the flesh contains parasites, heat will destroy them.

Once the fish is cooked (it can also be baked or microwave-cooked), a separate sauce is made, which typically contains garlic, onions, brown sugar, peppercorns, cloves, allspice berries, bay leaves, masala curry powder, cumin, coriander, turmeric, water and coarse salt. This is brought to the boil, and then simmered until the onions are still slightly crisp, around 10 minutes. Finally, the fish, sauce and onions are layered in a glass or ceramic dish and refrigerated for at least 24 hours during which time the fish is nicely 'pickled' in the spices. Firm-fleshed fish like yellowtail and tuna will keep for up to 6 months in the fridge; delicate fish like hake and cob may be kept for 2-3 months.

What kind of fish to pickle?

The type of fish used will affect the texture and colour of the final pickled product. For the pickled fish you will need a healthy kabeljou, geelbek (Cape Salmon), cod, hake, yellow tail, tuna or snoek. Have the fish filleted and at home thoroughly rinse the fillet under running water. Pat it dry with a paper towel. Cut the fish into serving portions (about 10cm) leaving the skin attached. If you wish, firm up the flesh of the fish, by sprinkling coarse salt on both sides of the fillet and letting it stand in a glass bowl for 20 to 25 minutes.

Small fish are ideal for pickling in traditional rollmop fashion. Since skin is tougher on larger fish and flesh is usually too thick for rolling, the fish is best skinned, filleted, and cut into serving-sized chunks before pickling because acid in the brine helps break down and dissolve bones. Read more ...

http://www.food24.com/Food24

Sports News TOP

Internationals top Two Oceans

Cape Town - Internationals dominated the Old Mutual Two Oceans 56km in Cape Town on Saturday, with four North Africans finishing in the top ten. From the marathon mark, it was one way traffic for 23-year-old Zimbabwean Moses Njodzi, who cruised to victory in the fifth fastest time yet recorded - 3:6:50.

Njodzi was followed home by countrymen, Honest Mutsakani in 3:08:14. Third place also went to the Harmony stable, with Sipho Ngomane finishing in 3:10:07. Mr Price's first finisher, Themba Lemane, (3:10:48) finished fourth. Fifth went to Port Elizabeth-based Mzwanele Maphekula, who stopped the clock on 3:11:09.

The women's race went down to the wire with Russians Tatiana Zhirkova (3:36:19) and Elena Nurgalieva slugging it out over the last 300m. 2003 winner, Simone Staicu was also in contention, but had to settle for third with a time of 3:37:15. The first South African women home was Farwa Mentoor in fifth (3:47:14), with Louisa Leballo next in 3:47:26. Comrades gold medalist Yolandi McLean finished in seventh.

In the men's half marathon Zimbabwean Cuthbert Nyasango took the winner spoils in a record 62:54. Second went to Zolani Ntongana 63:03, with another Zimbabwean Wirimaya Juwayo third in 63:36. The women's race went to Namibian Helaria Johannes, who finished ahead of Australian Kerryn McCann (74:08) and local lass Poppy Mlambo in 75:20.

http://www.mweb.co.za/

[Two Oceans Marathon is dubbed at the world's most beautiful marathon & just by watching the excellent TV coverage, one was able to enjoy the Cape scenery whilst following the agonies of the runners.They were blessed with perfect weather conditions! -Editor ]

Statistics of Old Mutual Two Oceans Marathon

The Old Mutual Two Oceans Marathon has drawn a field of close to 18 000 participants. The 56 km ultra marathon has attracted a field 7 875 participants, which is a not a record field but certainly one of the biggest fields in the history of the race. The largest field was in 2004, when the route returned to Chapman’s Peak and had close to 10 000 runners. The 21 km half marathon has broken all records and has the biggest field ever with 9 669 runners taking part. This also makes it the biggest half marathon in the country.

According to race director, Chet Sainsbury the race has drawn a quality field of top local and international runners in both the ultra and the half and it promises to be an exciting event. The field includes defending champions Marco Mambo and Yelena Nurgalieva.

Over 1 200 international runners have entered from 60 countries. This is the biggest overseas contingent in the history of the event – 638 in the half marathon and 642 in the ultra.

Ultra marathon stats:

21.8 % of the field are women.
74 % of the field are from outside the Western Province.
29.4 % of the field are running the ultra for the first time.

Half marathon stats:

42.3 % of the field are women.
41.5 % of the field are from outside the Western Province.
55.2 % of the field are running the half marathon for the first time.
50.6 % of the field are running with a temporary licence so do not belong to a club.

60 runners will celebrate their birthday on race day, Saturday, 15 April.

40 runners are running on Good Friday, April 14.

The oldest runner in the 8 km Fun Run is Philip Rabinowitz (102)

The oldest runner in the 21 km is Gert Koen (80)

The oldest runner in the 56 km is Des Robins (76)

70 % of the entries were received online.

The three largest club entries are from:
Rand Athletic Club - 398
Varsity Old Boys - 370
Mr Price Celtic Harriers - 333

http://www.twooceansmarathon.org.za

SA swimming team looks to Beijing

Commonwealth Games triple gold medallist Roland Schoeman will not compete at the SA Aquatic Championships in Durban next week, Swimming South Africa (SSA) confirmed on Thursday. Schoeman, who pulled out of the World Short Course Championships inShanghai, China, last week due to illness, has still not recovered sufficient fitness to take part in the national championships.

But there will still be plenty of excitement for spectators at the Kings Park Aquatic Centre in Durban from April 18-23.
Ryk Neethling, recently returned from Shanghai with his three gold medals -- 100m freestyle, 200m freestyle and 100m medley -- will participate with Gerhard Zandberg, his fellow Commonwealth Games gold medallist in the 100mx4 relay.

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

Milestone for Pollock and Kallis

Three players in the first Castle Lager Test between South Africa and New Zealand at Supersport Park this weekend will be joining the elite group of cricketers who have played in a hundred Test matches.

Jacques Kallis and Shaun Pollock will be making their hundredth appearance for South Africa, while the New Zealand captain Stephen Fleming will be achieving his century of Tests for the Black Caps.

"When you play in your first Test, you never really think about playing in a hundred," said Kallis. "But it is an honour and a privilege, and it will be something to remember in the future. But I won't be expecting any favours from the opposition because it's my hundredth Test."

Read more here... http://www.mg.co.za

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Reader's Interests or Hobbies TOP

Hello everybody,

My name is Fernand Decouttere. I am a Belgian guy who lived in South Africa during the sixties. My brother still lives in Three Rivers-Vereeniging. I always had this dream of visting him by bicycle since I am a fervent cyclist. So in 1998 my dream became reality and I began my journey in Barcelona(Spain). Six months later I finally reached South Africa (I must say that I flew over Central Africa in order to avoid the recent troubles with Kabila in Congo). That was 8 years ago.

Last February I arrived back home from a trip to Australia... again by bicycle. I started in Darwin and crossed nearly all the Australian states to end up in Perth from where I took the plane back home. It was my first encounter with Australia and I must admit it stole my heart. I had nothing but positive experiences,the Aussies themselves were very friendly and I never felt threatened which wasn't the case in Africa. I also met a lot of South Africans who had been emigrating and were trying to adapt to their new homeland.

If any of the readers want to know more about my trips they can reach me on my email address: fernand.decouttere@barco.com or via SAW.

Greetings,
Fernand

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