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Saw Mail

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• Editor's Message and Quote of the Week - from Maureen Cram
• Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week
• Featured Site
• The Legal Beagle
• Help Desk Question/s of the Week
• Where are they now?
• Club and Other News
• What We're Up To
• Humour
• Recipes
• Sports News
• Subscribing & Unsubscribing

+--SAW advertisement--------------------------------------------------+

What will R2500 buy you?
How about a five page Web site from the top Internet design company in South Africa...
plus an email address... with four aliases... and much much more!

Click here to order now! www.thos.co.za

+--SAW advertisement--------------------------------------------------+

Editor's Message TOP

Thanks to all of you who sent congratulations to Matthew and I on his wonderful news - I have to start knitting now... my grandson Tristan (Matthew's eldest son) has decided that he is having a brother and a sister at the same time - and yes... twins do run in Matthew's wife's family!!

Less than two weeks to go now until my daughter Deborah and her husband Steve and daughter Bella arrive on US shores. We collect them from Boston Airport on July 21 for a two-week stay. Lots of water skiing will be done (we have some special small sized water skis for Bella and a new life vest for her...) and we are also planning our Christmas in July... complete with turkey dinner (for those who eat it) cooked by Deborah and a Vegan dinner for Ken's daughter Melissa, Bella and me. Three of each! And guess what... all the veggies are left handed to boot!

Now is that coincidence or what??

Quote/s of the Week

These from me...

Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. -Eddie Rickenbacker, 1890-1973, American Aviator, World War I Ace

Don't let other people tell you what you want. -Pat Riley, 1945, American Basketball Coach

Your incredible brain can take you from rags to riches, from loneliness to popularity and from depression to happiness and joy ­ if you use it properly. - Brian Tracy American Trainer, Speaker, Author, Businessman.

Send in any quotes you love... that have some special meaning for you... and I will use at least one every week. Usual address! saw@thos.co.za

Ad Hoc Article/s of the Week TOP

Please note that these articles DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT the opinion of SAW, The House of SYNERGY (THOS) or your editor. They are published here for your consideration - you can agree, disagree or ignore, but please don't shoot the messenger!

SAWs are a diverse group of people with diverse opinions on many issues.

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Details on where to obtain your copy of African Tears by Catherine Buckle
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If you missed last week's issue with all the details on, just go to the SAW Web site (www.saw.co.za) and check out the archives for SAWmail... then you can see in great detail all the places from which you can buy this great book.

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Informal Poll - Why did you leave South Africa?
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I am always interested to find out why people are no longer living in SA - or are still living in SA... Let me know your views. To make it easier, here are possible reasons... just click and copy the one/s that apply/ies to you and send it back to me at the usual address... saw@thos.co.za - if your reason isn't listed then please write and tell me what it was.

I will publish the findings in a couple of weeks.

I haven't left... I am still here and do not intend leaving
I haven't left yet... but am planning to do so soon
I haven't left but have family overseas
I left to study but will be back
I left to study but will not be back
I left to travel around a bit but will be back
I left to travel and have found a place I prefer so I won't be back
I am on a contract to work overseas but will be back
I am on a contract to work overseas but will not be back
I left for love
I left because my family left and I had to leave with them
I left because I have family overseas and they wanted me to leave
I left because of the crime
I left to give my children a better life in another country
I left because of reverse apartheid
I left because my husband wanted to leave
I left because my wife wanted to leave
I left for other reasons
I am not a South African but I like to keep in touch

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African Music Is Here, and It's Now
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New York Times July 6, 2001 By Ben Ratliff

After decades of cultivation, New York City's theaters, arts institutions and concertgoers are at the point where they can accommodate African music of all kinds. This summer's African performers - in the Africa Out Loud series of Lincoln Center Festival 2001, in the Africa Fęte concert at Central Park Summerstage and in one-shot performances around the city - are showing old and new music from all corners of the continent, from the biggest international acts to the newcomers.
It would be nice to believe there has been a gradual opening up of taste, slowly gathering force through some major milestones of African music in Western culture: Babatunde Olatunji's "Drums of Passion" album in 1959; the first American releases of Fela Kuti's Nigerian Afrobeat in the 1970's; King Sunny Ade's groundbreaking performance at the Savoy in 1983.
But tastes keep changing here and in Africa, and it's almost a matter of luck when Western and African tastes in recorded music coincide - not to mention the practical difficulties of bringing African artists, many with large bands, to play in front of New York audiences.
"From what I observe, there's no straight line," said Sean Barlow, executive producer of the syndicated radio show "Afropop Worldwide," which, as it happens, lost its time slot on WNYC in New York about a year ago. "There's an ebb and flow in terms of the number of African artists coming through, and the attention they get from the press. New Yorkers have been hip to the best of music from around the world, but the problem is that sometimes the promoters are able to bring people over and sometimes they can't. Sometimes the stars line up right, sometimes they don't."
Indeed, there have recently been extreme instances of both. Last week at Summerstage, Cheikha Rimitti, the 78-year-old queen of raď music from Algeria, made her first performance in New York, giving a great show to a delirious crowd. On the other hand, both the Mahotella Queens, the South African vocal trio, and the Malian singing star Thione Seck were denied visas this year, making them miss major festival appearances across the United States.
But to focus on the good side, one of the coups of the summer is the Lincoln Center Festival 2001's booking of the Super Rail Band from Bamako, Mali. The band has been around since 1967 and has represented the soul of the Manding swing style, which translated griot music of the kora (a 21-string instrument made from a large calabash) into a dance orchestra with horns, drums and the incomparable, silvery guitar playing of Djelimady Tounkara.
The popularity of the Super Rail Band in the 1970's grew through regular performances at the Bamako train station. It also grew through its widely observed rivalry with another band, Les Ambassadeurs. Both bands were updating Malian griot music, mixing it with Cuban horn sections, rock and reggae. But by 1980 the band's fortunes plummeted when the recording business in Bamako started to favor griot pop, singers backed with drum machines and interchangeable accompanists.
The new trend left the Rail Band among the old-timers and nostalgists, and that's where the American journalist and musician Banning Eyre found them when he went to Mali in 1996 to study guitar with Mr. Tounkara and eventually write a book about his experiences, "In Griot Time" (Temple University Press, 2000). Mr. Tounkara, the principal guitarist and arranger, considered the band his pride and joy; he never really wanted to go solo, and he didn't necessarily want to join Salif Keita, the onetime Rail Band singer, in Paris, where Mr. Keita was building an international career. Toward the end of "In Griot Time," it looks as if the band might break up after nearly 30 years.
But the Super Rail Band has been revitalized since he wrote the book, Mr. Eyre says. Playing a rare American show at the International Festival in Houston in April, he said, the players sounded better than he had ever heard them, in part because they finally stopped playing at the Hôtel de la Gare. "Djelimady knew that as long as they were playing at the train station and trying to continue this thing from a bygone era, they were a nostalgia act for old fogeys," Mr. Eyre said. "Kids wouldn't go there; they were afraid they'd run into their fathers or their uncles." Now the band plays at a smaller nightclub outside Bamako called Djembe, and it is trying to appeal to young people. It has changed its sound by ditching the horn section; now the band has two guitars, bass, drums, two dancing singers and two percussionists, one on congas and one on the djembe.
At the Top
Koffi Olomide, also booked in the Africa Out Loud lineup, is another performer New York is lucky to have in town. Americans are dependent on records for their information about African music and can easily get a skewed perspective on which performers are most important in their homelands. Mr. Olomide, from Congo and in his mid-40's, often commutes between performances in Europe and in his hometown, Kinshasa, about 3,500 miles away. He is probably the most popular (and most bootlegged) performer in Africa; he recently sold out a 30,000-seat theater in Paris. But because his records aren't available on noteworthy American labels like Nonesuch or Palm Pictures, he is virtually unknown among non-African audiences. In addition, as a rule, Congolese soukous doesn't translate to the American pop market. It is dance music with incredible musicianship, but it has an occasionally impenetrable slickness and great cultural specificity.
Mr. Olomide, a baritone, talk-sings through songs he arranges for his enormous dance orchestra, Quartier Latin, which can include as many as 18 musicians and 8 singers. He started performing in 1986 after writing songs for Papa Wemba, one of the major soukous stars in the 1980's. (He and Papa Wemba have recently been firing insults at each other from their own albums.) Soukous, otherwise known as Congolese rumba, has some roots in Afro-Cuban rumba, popular in West Africa before World War II. Mr. Olomide's slower, more romantic version of it is called Tcha Tcho. "His popularity grew among women," said Lubangi Muniania, Mr. Olomide's American manager. "If women like you, that's it. The romantic side of an African male was seen through Koffi: they saw him and they said, `That's how men should be.' "
The Senegalese star Youssou N'Dour, who does have a contract with Nonesuch, is probably the foremost international figure in African popular music. He has a peerless reputation among world music aficionados in New York, perhaps because as a singer, songwriter and record producer, he grasps the notion that Westerners crave crosscultural fusion, and his records are ultrasophisticated. He is also an electrifying performer who understands how much people want to see him in New York, and he delivers. The last few times he played here, he performed for four hours; Stevie Wonder joined him onstage in the 1999 show.
Music Seeking Listeners
His music, mbalax, which reassigns the interlocking rhythms of the old-style sabar drum ensemble to electric instruments, is sung in the Wolof language, and it depends on six-beat rhythms and sudden melismatic wails. But Mr. N'Dour also writes ballads that use acoustic guitars in ways Americans understand from their folk-rock indoctrination, and he uses a hip-hop rhythm-machine or two. His show at Avery Fisher Hall will be broadcast on "Live From Lincoln Center" on PBS, a significant media event for a music still seeking listeners.
Other Senegalese performers in the mbalax tradition who are appearing here this summer include Omar Pene and Super Diamono, who play tonight at S.O.B.'s. Mr. Pene is a politically sharp singer who slicked up Super Diamono, a superpopular Dakar band through the 1980's, when he joined them as singer; in Senegal the band's popularity doesn't lag far behind Mr. N'Dour's. Nder and the Setsima Group, playing at Africa Fęte on Sunday, are more recent rising stars in Senegal.
Cheikh Lô, in Africa Out Loud next Friday, whose career benefited from one of Mr. N'Dour's production jobs on his 1997 record "Né La Thiass," draws on the mbalax rhythm and other influences, including Congolese rumba, the morna style of Cape Verde and jazz; his long, Sufi-mystical songs in repetitive, funky grooves sometimes remind me of the Brazilian singer Jorge Ben. And Baaba Maal, at Celebrate Brooklyn on Aug. 19, comes from the Tukulor people, a subset of the nomadic Fula people, who live far from Dakar; he has stretched roots in mbalax, branching out into Afro-Celtic music, reggae and hip-hop with his band, Dande Lenol (Voice of the People).
A South African group from Capetown, Amampondo, which formed 20 years ago, has been playing the European circuit and performed a few American concert dates last year, but it has never played in New York. At Lincoln Center next Friday, it opens for Cheikh Lô. It is a voice and percussion group at the core, with a battery of marimbas and stacks of male and female voices, but it has taken on some Nigerian Afrobeat and some jazz influences; members perform in traditional dress and body paint and use a lot of acrobatics, combining the root traditions of the Xhosa tribe and contemporary pop.
The defiantly political Brooklyn- based group Antibalas, playing tomorrow at Wetlands Preserve, depends on Afrobeat, the signature sound of the great Nigerian pop bandleader Fela Kuti, who died in 1997. (MCA recently reissued the best of his work.) Fela's sound is immediately recognizable as sharing some of the funk, organ and horn- section latticework of James Brown's 1970's music. But the explanations of such similarities are sometimes long. Mr. Eyre's book, for example, explains why it is simplistic to see the Malian guitarist Ali Farka Touré as an African John Lee Hooker. Using the Fela sound, Antibalas has created its following through a prodigious number of local gigs. (The band has a great new album, "Liberation Afrobeat, Vol. 1," out on the Ninja Tune label.
Symbol of Anonymity
The bandleader and saxophonist Lágbájá, from Lagos, is making a much rarer appearance. He always performs with a scarf or a mask concealing all of his face but his eyes; the Yoruban word Lágbájá means anybody, and the performer's masking is a symbol of the anonymity of African people in international politics. His music is modernized Afrobeat, with synthesizers instead of horns and Hammond organs; it uses trancelike call-and-response vocal forms, but with stylized new rhythm-and-blues vocalists instead of the hoarse, dire chants of old Afrobeat. The heart of the music is percussion, and there are several Yoruban talking drums (gangan) in the ensemble, as well as the bata, the double-headed drum used for Yoruban religious purposes. (Lágbájá, too, has an interesting new record called "We Before Me" on Indigedisc/PDSE.)
Les Tętes Brűlées, as well, have benefited here from the funny feeling of recognition in American ears. The band appears at Summerstage's Africa Fęte on Sunday, and it hasn't been in New York since 1994, when it was briefly the talk of the town. From Cameroon via Paris, the music, called bikutsi, is tight, wiry and rockish, though it also accommodates a traditional thumb-piano, and the electric-instrument lines running through it are all adapted from the traditional music of Cameroon's rain forests.
Raď music, from Algeria, is represented this summer by Cheb Mami, the biggest star of the genre, whose new record, "Dellali" (Ark 21), has just arrived in stores. It's laden with old and new funk, as produced by Nile Rodgers and Nitin Sawhney, and Mr. Mami has received a career boost similar to the one Mr. N'Dour did from appearing in a 1985 Peter Gabriel hit: he is the second voice on "Desert Rose" from Sting's album "Brand New Day." The bottom layers of "Dellali" are worldwide funk, both synthetic and not; the top layers use fiddle, accordion and Mr. Mami's soaring voice.
It's an ambitious schedule, but the stars have aligned in our favor. Consider yourself blessed.
African Music Events
Unless noted, Central Park Summerstage events are free and take place at Rumsey Playfield, midpark at 70th Street; gates open 90 minutes before weekend shows, one hour before weekday performances. Summerstage information: (212) 360-2777; www.summerstage.org. Celebrate Brooklyn events are at the Propect Park Band Shell, Prospect Park West and Ninth Street, Park Slope; seating begins one hour before performances; suggested admission, $3. Information: (718) 855-7882, extension 45; www.brooklynX.org or www .prospectpark.org. Africa Out Loud, part of the Lincoln Center Festival 2001, will be at different locations; information: (212) 721- 6500; www.lincolncenter.org.
LÁGBÁJÁ (Nigeria). Club Warehouse, 1370 Ralph Avenue, between Clarendon Road and Foster Avenue, Canarsie, Brooklyn, (718) 451-0855; www.africaswings.com. Tonight at 8. Tickets: $20 in advance at Moshood Creations, (718) 243-9433; Stern's Music, (212) 964- 5455; African Village Cafe, (718) 722-4770; and Record Shack (212) 866-1600; $25 at the door.
OMAR PENE (Senegal). With Super Diamono. S.O.B.'s, 204 Varick Street, at Houston Street, South Village, (212) 243-4940; www.sobs.com. Tonight at midnight and 2 a.m. Tickets: $25.
ANTIBALAS (New York/Nigeria). Wetlands Preserve, 161 Hudson Street, at Laight Street, TriBeCa, (212) 966-8861. Tomorrow night at 11:30; doors open at 8. Tickets: $10 in advance; $12 at the door.
BEGINNING DJEMBE WORKSHOP. Part of Summerstage. Sunday at noon.
AFRICA FĘTE. Part of Summerstage. With Nder and the Setsima Group (Senegal), Les Tętes Brűlées (Cameroon) and Saintrick et La Tchielly (Congo/Senegal). Sunday at 3 p.m.
SUPER RAIL BAND (Mali). La Guardia Concert Hall, 65th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, Manhattan. Part of Lincoln Center Festival 2001. Wednesday at 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $25.
CHEIKH LÔ (Senegal) and AMAMPONDO (South Africa). La Guardia Concert Hall, 65th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, Manhattan. Part of Lincoln Center Festival 2001. Next Friday at 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $25.
CHEB MAMI (Algeria) and TRANSGLOBAL UNDERGROUND (New York). Part of Celebrate Brooklyn. Next Friday at 7:30 p.m.
"KWAITO MUSIC, THE NEW FACE OF SOUTH AFRICA." Arsenal Gallery, 830 Fifth Avenue, at 64th Street, Manhattan. Part of Summerstage. July 14 at noon.
BONGO MAFFIN (South Africa). Opening for Basement Jaxx. Part of Summerstage. July 14 at 3 p.m.
AMINA, EKOVA, LO'JO. Part of Summerstage. July 15 at 3 p.m.
KOFFI OLOMIDE (Congo). La Guardia Concert Hall, 65th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, Manhattan. Part of Lincoln Center Festival 2001. July 16 at 8:30 p.m. Tickets: $25.
YOUSSOU N'DOUR (Senegal). Avery Fisher Hall. Part of Lincoln Center Festival 2001. July 19 at 8 p.m. Tickets: $25 and $40.
PAPA WEMBA AND VIVA LA MÚSICA (Congo). Midsummer Night Swing, Josie Robertson Plaza (Fountain Plaza), Lincoln Center, (212) 875-5766. July 27, with dance lessons from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. and dancing at 8 p.m. Admission: $12.
BAABA MAAL (Senegal), EX-CENTRIC SOUND SYSTEM (Israel, Ghana), LUCKY NGEMA AND FRIENDS (South Africa), MAMADOU DIABATE (Mali), IVOIRE SENSATION (Nigeria). Part of Celebrate Brooklyn. Aug. 19 at 1 p.m.
Copyright 2001 The New York Times Company | Privacy Information

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Support for Michael
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This from Luis Carvalho luis.carvalho@primus.ca

Hi Maureen:

For the record, please post this short message of support for Michael Lageman's letter on "whining ex-pats in Europe".

Michael:
You have hit it in the nail with your letter on those whining SA ex-pats you have in Europe. We have them in Canada too. Ironically, those struggling to find their feet here seem to complain far less than those that have made it very confortably yet never seem to be happy about their new country, SUVs and all. Folks, there is reminiscing.....and there is annoying ingratitude.

Luis Carvalho
Burlington, Ontario
CANADA

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52 Best Stories - The Park Bench
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Good Morning Maureen,

Many Readers have asked when 52Best will publish a book of the 52 best stories. We have now sent 127 Friday morning stories since March of 1999 and have a special selection of stories that have touched many minds and hearts.

We need two more team members. Each story will be illustrated in a wonderful, fun loving way so we need a good spirited illustrator. The second is a like-minded publisher. Your recommendations in regards to either of these will be greatly appreciated.

With Best Regards, Sandy

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read
Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.

Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,
For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy approached me, all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down
And said with great excitement, "Look what I found."

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn not enough rain, or too little light.

Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,
I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side
And placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise,

"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.
That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead.
Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red.

But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.
So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,
He held it mid-air without reason or plan.

It was then that I noticed for the very first time
That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone in the sun,
As I thanked him for picking the very best one.

"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,
unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see,
a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.

How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see
The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.

And for all of those times I myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life, And appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose
And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose.

And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand,
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

- Author Unknown -

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One Man's Australia
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Ageing memories

Yesterday (July 2nd) was our son's 31st birthday. Like any ageing father I had a good long think back in time about a tumultuous week in our lives.

When you are a young parent you tend not to be prone to look forward far enough to see your children as adults with developing careers in your own profession. You tend not to look forward to the day you acquire your first child-in-law. This can be a challenging experience as you automatically extend the parental wing over them - only to have it firmly rejected when (as happened in our case) the daughter in law has perfectly functional parents of her own.

You find that you have to learn how to be a parent-in-law. This requires you to develop new skills in the same way that you had to develop new skills when you brought your firstborn home. We put our minds to it and have a very relaxed and honest relationship with a wonderful, warm young woman.

Anyway my mind went back over the years and my memories remain crystal clear.

Lynette became pregnant while my father was dying of cancer. His lung cancer had spun off secondary tumours in his lower abdomen and brain and he had not been able to speak for weeks. When we told him the news he spoke the last words he would ever speak before dying a couple of months later and assured us that it was a boy.

Then, at 6 months, Lynette threatened a miscarriage. Her obstetrician put her into a decompression suit to lift the wall of the abdomen off the uterus and improve the blood flow to the baby, as the placenta had partly detached. Our flat seemed to be filled with machinery for the rest of her pregnancy.

He was intent on getting the baby's weight above 5 lbs and told us that the birth, when it came, would have to be by Caesarean as labour would pose an unacceptable risk to the baby.

The 30th June came and went, and with it any thoughts of a tax deduction for that year. On July 1st the obstetrician sent her into a maternity hospital near the foot of the Hillbrow communications tower for a birth first thing the next morning.

Came the early morning and I walked alongside her to the theatre. The place was jammed wall-to-wall with obstetricians, paediatricians, anaesthetists, theatre staff - you name it. She was taken in and, within minutes, it seemed, I could hear that I was the father of a baby with strong lungs.

He was brought out to show me and I marvelled at this perfect miniature person. He was pink and looked freshly unwrapped. Everything was there in detail and everything worked - particularly his lungs.

The obstetrician came out and congratulated me on a fine son, who had made it to 5 lbs and then said that Lynette had a relatively minor problem - the anaesthetist had knocked one of her upper front teeth out in removing the airway.

So I hurtled through Hillbrow to where our dentist was opening his surgery and grabbed him by the shirtfronts. He packed a bag and hurried back to the maternity hospital with me where he immediately re-implanted Lynette's tooth and clipped it to the teeth on either side.

I must say that he did a good job. The clips were later removed and the tooth did another 25 years' service.

I thanked him and took him back to his surgery and his waiting patients to resume his practice, then returned to see Lynette for the first time. She was still groggy from the anaesthetic. We had a one-sided chat and then I went to the nursery to see our baby, who by this time was tucking into a bottle. Apparently he had been strenuously demanding a little service and to stop the entire nursery being disrupted they had given him the bottle.

This was to have dramatic consequences later on.

It was by then lunchtime and I went back to our flat in Edith Cavell Street to make myself a sandwich and tell the grandmothers.

As I walked into the flat the phone was ringing and I faced my second crisis of the day. The phone frosted over as Lynette's mother's voice said "I have phoned the hospital and have been informed that I have a grandson".

After that the crises seemed to come thick and fast.

Nobody had told me that there is a world of difference between babies born normally and those born by Caesarean. Babies that are born normally have, in engineering terms, been extruded. The process knocks them about and they spend 48 hours or so recovering before they are particularly interested in food. Mums apparently run to the same timetable. So breastfeeding is the norm.

Not so a baby born by Caesarean. It is unwrapped and, after objecting to an unpleasantly chilly and bright environment, rapidly thinks about nourishment. And there our next crisis began.

At the normally appointed time Lynette was transformed into what was veritably the hospital Holstein. There was only one problem. Robert knew by then that food came from a bottle and he was not about to be conned into accepting any synthetic substitutes.

There were other mothers in the ward who, for various reasons, could not feed their offspring. These were passed to Lynette to feed and behold - the ward was filled with weeping. There were those weeping because they could not feed their offspring and there was Lynette weeping because her firstborn shunned her.

All very off-putting to a nervous new father who began to feel responsible for the entire collective catastrophe.

Lynette comes from a notoriously obstinate family of Germans and the genes had come out in Robert. After a few days the doctors admitted defeat and dried Lynette up.

And then we faced the biggest crisis yet.

On the night we brought Robert home there was a pounding on the front door during dinner. Two BOSS operatives walked in and wrote laborious longhand notes until 1 am.

By the time the sun came up we had decided to emigrate.

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Northern Lighties
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At the beginning of this month Toronto passed a law stating that ALL restaurants will from now, and forever, onward be "Smoke Free". All those filthy, foul, air polluting, anti-social miscreants will be banished, banned and generally kept away from all areas that can remotely be described as an eating establishment.
Sies!
Now you can go into an eating establishment to dine out on meat that has been filled with hormones, vegetables and fruit that are covered in pesticides, water that may have come from Walkerton, chemical filled beer, antifreeze added wine and of course germs at the salad bar added by the ever sick Canadian populace who sneeze at the drop of a hat. All this while breathing in even more germs recycled through the ever-present air-conditioning. If you get through all that there is still of course the dodge-the-spit run to the gas-guzzling car to get home to use all the appliances created at the local factories spewing pollution into the atmosphere. All of this of course assumes that you are eating in a place that has passed the local inspection and now only has the required minimum allowance of rat droppings.
As you may have gathered I am a bit of a cynic when it comes the anti-smoking fascists and their current victory. You see, part of the law has a loophole in it that allows eating places to reclassify themselves as bars. Bars have another two years in which to become non-smoking establishments. Bars are also not allowed to serve anyone under nineteen years old, which is the legal drinking age here in Ontario. But…you may still smoke in bars so long as there is a non-smoking area. So what has happened is that many previous "eating establishments" are now "Bars". As such where before you were able to take your whole family out to eat now you have to choose carefully because the local diner may now be a "bar" and as such children are not welcome! Of course there is always the local Mac or Burger King but lets talk actual nutrition for a change.
In their blind hatred the anti-smoking brigade decided that there would be no choice. They will make up their minds for everyone and as such the ability to actually make a decision as to whether your business had a smoking or non-smoking policy was taken away. Market forces notwithstanding.
Personal liberties were dispensed with out of hand. Never mind that we are talking about thirty percent of the populations rights here, more if you include the people who own and work in trades that support these places. Never mind that no one has conclusively proven the link between cancers and second hand smoke either. Never mind personal choice as well. The nanny state and its storm troopers have spoken. You vill obey!
I find it ironic that, in many cases, the same people decrying smoking cigarettes are the ones who support the decriminalisation of marijuana. Even better they are the ones who demand that junkies are given free needles to inject themselves. Never mind that nicotine is the most addictive drug around. I have yet to see any attempt to make anti-smoking courses or medicines available on the health services. At this stage we are told that it was your choice to start smoking so you must pay to stop. This from the very same people who decry the cigarette companies tactics when it comes to getting customers addicted and then tell you that you have "no choice" when it comes to the decision that they have made for you! The convoluted logic that comes into play when it comes down to "personal choice" here is also mind-boggling. Why should I be allowed to have personal choice as to whether I smoke or not but not where I may smoke or, even worse, whether I may allow others to do so in a business that I run privately?
I can't quite fathom out the mind that says everyone must suffer for my beliefs. My choice says that if a place has smoking allowed I won't go in. I will look for a place that is non-smoking and enjoy myself there instead. Why on earth would I want to go into a bar that has smokers and demand that they mustn't smoke because I don't? I would rather find a place which has clean air instead. Given that more and more people are opting for a healthier lifestyle I believe that market forces would have sorted out the different places fairly quickly. If I run a place that is non-smoking and have a steady clientele I wouldn't suddenly allow a smoker to come in and pollute the air. Smokers would soon get the message. Conversely non-smokers would understand that certain places have a smoking policy and would avoid them like the plague. A fairly well placed notice alerting patrons to the places policy should be sufficient. Mind you so should the cloud of smoke and coughs emanating!
Now we have the ludicrous situation where a group of local restaurant owners have got up a petition demanding that "bars" are forced to become non-smoking earlier because their business has fallen off following the ban! Patrons have moved on to those eating establishments who designated themselves as "bars" rather. Which makes a total mockery of the claim that business increased wherever a non-smoking ban was enforced. Vancouver is often cited when this is mentioned. Unfortunately the facts are a little different but then the facts have never bothered the anti-smoking brigade much. If they had then they might have studied the so-called medical trials a little closer. They may also have put a little more effort into trying to stop other forms of more assiduous pollution as well. Motorcars and trucks being a major contributor to the mass smog and pollution that hangs over Toronto almost daily lately.
The most sickening part of this is the complete hypocrisy surrounding the Government's actions when it comes to being involved. But then what can you expect from beauroucrats who recognize a captive form of taxation when the see it? And a neat platform for the next election as well.
The most frightening aspect of all this though is the single-minded way the whole issue has been handled. To the extent that I ask myself what will happen when they have managed to eradicate smokers entirely. Who will they set their narrow minded little brains on then?
You?

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All Cracked Up
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You know you've been in Dublin too long when...

My favourite 40... out of a long, long list that has been added to -by so many (thanks for these Frank and Mark and everyone else).

1. You say "I'm Grand" all the time.
2. You drink Guinness as if it was the 6th basic food group.
3. You disagree with No. 2 - Guinness IS the FIRST (and only) food group.
4. You're pale and white…yet compared to others…your suntan looks grand.
5. You consider the horses at the corner of Stephens Green your friends when you're drunk.
6. You take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing of it.
7. You say 'your man' all the time.
8. You rip your clothes off and go sunbathing when it's only 12 degrees.
9. You say 'howareyuh' all the time.
10. You know someone who's swum across the Liffey.
11. You know all the slang names for the statues ('The Hags with the Bags' etc).
12. You say 'gobshite' all the time.
13. You're saying 'yep' as you read through this list.
14. You say 'it's great crack' all the time.
15. You say 'he's great crack' all the time.
16. You say 'she's great crack' all the time.
17. You're STILL nodding as you read thru this list.
18. You never go into Temple Bar in the summer because it's full of tourists.
19. You can pronounce names like Eoghan, Niamh, Siobhan, Ruairi, Clionadh and Aodh and Phadricin (yeah…sure?)
20. You say 'amn't I?' all the time.
21. You do runners on bills you can afford to pay, whenever possible (including rent, taxes, restaurants, phone bills etc. - like it's your RIGHT to do so).
22. You slag the side of the city you're not from (i.e. the North or the South)
23. You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or potatoes.
24. You stay indoors to beat the heat - when it's over 20C.
25. You call taxi drivers "robbers".
26. It's not a real suntan unless it hurts, blisters and peels.
27. You see Bertie, Bono or Nick Seymour on the street, and think nothing of it.
28. For the boys, you jeer and harass girls on your way to and from pubs with the likes of clapping, leering, slapping, 'how'reyadoin!' and 'orrrrright!'
29. When you go to a club, you stand in the middle of the dance floor, downing cans you brought in yourself, yelling at the DJ
30. You don't notice all the prams.
31. You KNOW who Bertie and Nick Seymour are (see No. 27).
32. Half your friends have kids - when you're 22.
33. You find yourself still living with family and having dinners cooked for you by someone's mammy - at 30.
34. You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammy's.
35. You happily toss the entire packaging from a Mac take-away on the ground, even though there is a bin about 10m away.
36. If they don't expect you to steal the glasses (or ashtrays or whatever) from the pubs, they wouldn't let you near them in the first place... would they?
37. You have used the expression 'Jayzus H. Christ' on a bike or some variant thereof.
38. You totally understand what someone means if they say 'Gerrouathagard'n' in a thick Dublin city centre accent.
39. You think it's perfectly acceptable to ask a 13-year-old 'howz the sex life?'
40. You don't notice the puke on the Dublin streets on a Monday morning…anymore.

Slan

Debs

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London Bridge to SA
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Hot Summer

It is hot. Piping hot. Red hot. So hot that thinking about standing up and walking to the fridge to get an ice-cold beer brings on a sweat. The summer has arrived and in full swing too. The heat is actually unbearable.

Today it is 31, officially the hottest day of the year. Don't get me wrong I love the hot weather as much as I do the cold but travelling on the tube is a living nightmare. The temperature down there is always 10 more. 41 in the tube, what a hell hole.

Although we managed to survive a braai out on Sunday (even then it was hot) we still suffered with the heat. I think back to when I was here last and if I recall correctly we didn't have typical London summer either. It was scorching hot.

The weather has brought some very strange views out in England. In Brighton, which is close to Dover, there were people diving off the Pier and into the icy cold sea. In Newquay (where we were a few weeks ago) people were swimming in just their costumes. In London there were
Porpoises basking in the river Thames. How mad is that. After one hour the Porpoises found the heat just a wee bit too much and made their way back out to the cooler sea.

Global Warming? I feel very strongly about things like that, I feel for people who litter and just ignore the fact that we have been graced with the honour of living on this planet. Are the Ice Caps melting due to the heat, are the rain forests ever going to survive mankind and are we ever going to take pride as a nation and sort out our s&!t? What does it take to hold a piece of rubbish in your hand, walk over to a bin and drop it? Nothing. Chewing gum is another disgusting habit that grates me here in London. Why do these people just spit the bloody stuff out into a bin? Why spit it on the floor where people stand on it and spread it around? Why spit? This is a nation of spitters. I am ranting aren't I? I apologise for that but I feel that we could all live in a better society if we just help each other out. Just a small little thing it is to throw your rubbish in a rubbish bin.

As I type this my eyes start to shut down, my brain says "give it up" but I am here at work and in this heat I can think of nothing worse.

MUSIC: nothing
WHY: it's too hot

MEMORIES: 13th October 2000. This is the day I got married to my girlfriend of over 7 years. Brilliant day, hot, Table Mountain - need I say more? It was a good day with the folks and loads of fun throughout the day. We ended up having our reception at the Silvertree Restaurant in Kirstenbosch. We had a fantastic evening with our friends and family. The sun had set beautifully and amongst the botanical gardens there were chirps from the birds. What a perfect day.

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Missives from Michigan
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I Owe, Therefore I Am

One of the most difficult things to get used to upon arrival in the USA, is your non-existence. Non-existence simply means that you do not exist in the eyes of virtually every institution or business that is essential for the functioning of a normal life. Examples of these include banks, employers, retail outlets, credit card companies and utility providers. Even though I have a green card, I am still an alien, albeit a legal one and that is precisely the starting point for all future financial and official dealings. I had to redo the most basic of tasks.

The first such task was obtaining a bank account, something I had taken for granted once I received my Junior BOB card. I was told that it was relatively easy to open a bank account, all I had to do was deposit $100 (aha, there's the rub) and provide proof of address. That would have been simple if I still lived in SA but remember, I did not exist in the US. For proof of address, they wanted an envelope that had been mailed to me by a business or institution (like a bank!) and it had to have my name and address on it. They would not accept the latest tear stained missive from my mom back home. I needed something like a bill, but therein lies the irony. A bill would imply credit and I could not even get a bank account, let alone credit. In the end, my redemption came in the form of my official green card mailed to my current address with my name on it.

The next obstacle was getting a driver's license. Passing the K-53 driving exam in Edenvale, South Africa, just did not wash with the Michigan Secretary of State. As the 'friendly' clerk behind the counter put it, "we have different rules in Michigan". To which I almost replied " I know, I have seen how you drive". But out of fear of being brandished a troublesome alien, I bowed out gracefully and went about doing the tests, both written and practical. I must say that getting the license in Michigan was certainly easier than my first time around. I had many more years driving experience under my belt, the test was much easier and the best part was that private citizens contract to run the training and testing for the State. This meant that I did not have to sit next to Traffic Ociffer Flip Van Zyl, who felt that testing green "souties" was beneath him. Nor did I have to wait 10 months to get my license, it arrived within two weeks.

For the first year, I piggybacked on my American husband for credit. Wherever we could, we obtained a retail card or credit card in my name, on my husband's account. Then finally it happened! Just before Christmas, I received a junk mail credit card offer in my name. I realised that after 15 months of non-existence, I had finally reached the pinnacle. Junk mail! An offer of debt! I exist.

Now along with all Americans I curse the endless junk mail that hits my mail box on a daily basis. I still sweat a little when I open an account in my own name. Will I or won't I be approved for their instant credit line? There are always about 15 customers standing behind me as I mentally prepare my rejection story. "I don't have bad credit, I promise. You see I didn't exist until last month." Luckily I have never had to suffer that humiliation.

Now I wait for the final proof of existence in the USA: a call from a telemarketer!

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African Despatch - Midnight of the African Sun and Prelude to Disaster at Isandhlwana
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African greetings!

Superstition is an interesting phenomenon. Somehow, I always tend to feel a little bit sorry for people who in our day and age of electricity and technological wonder, still insist upon afflicting their lives and peace of mind with medieval superstitions.
In Africa in particular, superstition is still alive and doing very well. For instance, to this day the Zulus will repeatedly warn you not to eat the one sharp little corner of an animal's liver. "If you eat that, you'll forget things," they say. No matter how you argue, they'll always maintain that, "yes, you don't want to listen. Eat that piece and the day you grow old you'll be forgetting just about everything. Mark my words!"
Of course, such little things probably rank small compared to heavenly signs such as comets, meteor showers, northern lights and one of the all-time favourites of the superstitious mind-eclipses of the sun and moon. These kinds of events have always presented wonderful opportunities for all the doomsday prophets and snake oil salesman of the world to start crawling out of the woodwork. Fear of such natural events has been with mankind, probably from the very beginning. Ancient Assyrian history shows how this old civilisation of white men had once lived in terror of solar eclipses. Not that such fear of natural events was necessarily peculiar only to pagan nations. Pope Urban VIII was one of those who came to the conclusion that a coming solar eclipse was going to spell the end of all things good in his life, and he became nearly beside himself with fear and worry. He even went so far as to consult astrologers and soothsayers which ordinary should have been burnt as heretics by his religion. In the end, he organised armed guard to protect him, while he himself hid in the deepest, darkest corners of his stone-walled fortifications until the eclipse was over. Needless to say, nothing bad happened to the pope at all, except maybe for a new layer of cholesterol deposited in his arteries because of too much stress and good food.
And of course, the madness continues on to our very own day. Here in South Africa, the first solar eclipse of the millennium dawned on Thursday, sending thousands upon thousands of celestial worshippers, New Age hippies, astrologers and scientists from the most civilised nations on earth, streaming to Africa to come and witness the event. There they stood, some scribbling notes, others peering through optical instruments, journalists squawking news into microphones, and skinny, long-haired, bare-footed tattooed characters holing crystals to their foreheads and waving their arms at our closest star in trance-like state. Local witchdoctors were a little divided in exactly what they believed a solar eclipse to mean. While the witchdoctors north of the Limpopo seemed to agree that eclipses spelt imminent times of trouble such as war, famine and social unrest, some of their South African colleagues were of a different opinion. One of our local bone-throwers, Thakalani Mathiba, said the solar eclipse would signify "a time of blessing" for Africans. Not that they were the only ones to attach divine meaning to eclipses, though.
Remember when I wrote about Hendrik Spoorbek of Humansdorp, some months ago? Well, in this same town lives a modern Afrikaner man who solemnly warned South Africa that this time the end of the world would surely accompany the new eclipse. He had it all figured out, and had already sold his home and all his worldly belongings, and was ready for the long trek to a different world. Well, sadly for him, all that the eclipse seemed to bring, was a sense of awe and wonder to the children of the Dark Continent. Here in South Africa, the eclipse wasn't total, but in Angola, Zambia, north-east Zimbabwe, southern Malawi, Mozambique and Madagascar, it became a total eclipse for about four minutes. Even where I live, the world receded into the weirdest kind of "twilight hour" - a soft, shadowy landscape of gentle amber light and intense quiet. Further north, they say, startled baboons rushed for the trees to grab the best branches for an early night's sleep, while the poor confused birds sped off to their nests, and crickets emerged to start chirping lustfully.
In the native villages, children started crying, dogs began to bark, and everywhere it seemed that the upsetting of nature's clock must have caused a fairly big stir. In Zambia, many thousands of tourists from all over the world stood ready with their cameras, lenses, filters and glasses, basking in the rare and wonderful sight of the sun's glowing corona extending around the moon, and bubbling with pleasure about the rare sight. Around them, the con-men of Africa were still busy selling thousands of phoney sun visors to unsuspecting Africans for $3 a piece - not caring that the plastic it was made of, provided no protection at all, and that exposure to the sun would cause permanent partial blindness for life. All in a day's work, and all to make a fast buck, I suppose.
Here in the Elephant's Valley, Joseph showed up for work, looking very uncomfortable and worried.
"Baas, did you know that the sun is going to 'hide' today?" he said to my father.
"Yes, Joseph," came the reply.
"Why is that, Baas?" he wanted to know, still looking very unhappy.
"Well, it is only the moon that will be moving in front of the sun for a while, that's all."
But Joseph didn't buy this.
"No Baas," he said. "The moon is much bigger than the sun. Really, you must just look carefully."
My father smiled.
"No, you see, it only looks that way because the sun is so much further away than the moon is."
At this, Joseph eyed him suspiciously, and then dared to ask: "And how would you know that…?"
I could not help but allow an enormous smile to crack open inwardly. Indeed, how does one explain to an illiterate child of Africa in terms that he would understand, about the laws of physics, about umbra and penumbra, and all the wonders of the heavens above us. You just can't. And somehow it seemed fair enough for Joseph to continue believing that for some dark and unknown reason, known only to the gods, the sun would be hiding its face from man for a while.
As it were, the builders who are busy extending a neighbour's house, took the day off because they were convinced that something horrible was going to happen on that day. In Madagascar, the government declared a national holiday, reportedly because they feared that people would cause accidents by attempting to drive with sun-visors before their eyes! This example was followed in Mozambique, and in the other African states, many businesses closed early so as to afford their employees the time to either go and hide, or watch the spectacle at leisure. Never before has such a big event been made of a solar eclipse in Africa!
It appears that Joseph also decided to disappear for a few minutes when the sun started to wane, but when nothing bad happened after a few minutes, he came back again and continued to varnish my front doors. I went out, armed with the tinfoil wrapper of a packet of tea bags, and told Joseph to hold it up and look at the sun. For a moment, I think he must have thought I must have become sun-struck, but as he lifted the paper to his eyes anyway, I was rewarded with the hugest smile. The kind of child-like wonder which can only be found on the faces of those who still stand ignorant of higher knowledge which can sometimes tend to dull the wonder of beautiful events somewhat. For an hour or so, Joseph took turns at varnishing and watching through the tea packet as the sun was being "eaten up" by the 'black hole in the sky." And then, just as I was busy with something important, he came to hammer frantically on my door.
"Baas! Baas, come quickly! The sun is back! The sun has come back again!"
I could not really afford leave immediately, but I dropped my work anyway and followed Joseph as he handed me the tea-packet wrapper to see for myself. And indeed, as I looked up, it was only in time to see the last dark corner moving out of the sun's path. Joseph's smile was a radiant boyish smile of childlike joy. I could not help but feel that somehow, somewhere along the way, perhaps we have been cheated by science into having been dulled to the same sense of awe and wonder which such an even should probably rightly inspire in the minds of min.
"It was an awesome sight, wasn't it?" I said.
"Yes Baas. It was amazing."
"You watch next year in December," I told Joseph. "Then we will have a complete eclipse right here in South Africa. Make sure you make time to look at it then."
Joseph smiled again, and I knew that his fear was gone. And all because a lowly tea packet wrapper had unveiled a natural mystery to the eyes of a non-believer.
As I said previously, in the course of human history, heavenly signs have always been interpreted by humans as having either good or bad meaning. In some cases, like in the case of the later Roman emperor, Constantine, a "heavenly sign" gave him the courage to win a momentous battle even though the odds were heavily against him. In Nazareth, 2,000 years ago, a mysterious star brought wise men from the east to pay homage to a newborn king who would become arguably the most famous human figure in all human history. In 1910 when Halley's comet passed the earth, my great-grandmother held her tiny babies up to see the wonderful streak of its tail span the horizon, and people were still selling pills and potions to protect humans from poisonous "comet gas" and "cosmic dust" which they predicted would bring pestilence and disease to the world.
But there was a much more notable event which I'd like to talk about today. 122 years ago, a tremendous battle took place during the very same kind of a total solar eclipse. An event so barbarously horrible that it remains deeply chiselled into the pages of British military history to this very day. The event I'm referring to, was the battle of Isandhlwana during the Anglo-Zulu War of 1879.
I have written about the Siege of Lüneburg before. An even which formed a prelude to this war. I have written about the climatic Battle of Blood River, in which a tiny Boer force defeated the Zulu army at tremendous odds. Well, Isandhlwana is a place not far from Blood River. Lüneburg was a town at the foot of the rising escarpment, above which my ancestors were living at the time, and it too, wasn't very far from Isandhlwana. For months there had been ugly incidents. Raiding parties crossed the border between Zululand and Natal periodically. The Pedis up the mountains from where I live now, were restless. The diamond discoveries in the northern Cape had heralded a new age of greed and land-hunger, new gold discoveries in the mountains had drawn the attention of greedy speculators and politicians, and shortage of land was beginning to make itself felt for the first time. After the British had annexed Natal, the republic which the Boers had bought from the Zulus in the 1830's, they had brought with them a new era of relative peace and stability which extended not only from Natal, but also to Zululand. But peace was no useful thread in the social fabric of the Zulu nation. After generations of bloody warfare and human slaughter beyond the telling of words, the new king Chetswayo, was systematically being forced by the British to alter his ancient-old tribal ways and beliefs. No more could Zulu raiding parties increase their strength and preserve their culture by spreading murder and mayhem to neighbouring tribes. No more could they grow and spread by disposing others of their land, and always finding new virgin soil to cultivate. Now the Zulus found themselves pressed into the wonderfully fertile land of the Zulu, but hemmed in between Natal, and the newly-annexed colony of Transvaal, which great Britain had recently yet again taken from the Boers. During forty years of relative peace, the Zulu numbers had increased exponentially, bad farming practices was spoiling their land, and the wild valleys of Zululand was being hunted out of existence, while there were border disputes, ancient feuds to be fought, a lingering drought, and bands of missionaries which had begun to make the Zulu king's life miserable for him.
Conditions were very touchy, and a major confrontation seemed imminent. All that was needed was a few colonial hotheads who had long been itching to drag the Imperial Government into a war with the Zulus, plus various groups of professing Christian missionaries who clamoured for a war against the Zulus. The missionaries, which had previously championed the Zulu cause to the point of the unnatural, had now decided that the only way to stamp a new religion on the heathens of Zululand, was if Great Britain could annex the country and dispose of the Zulu king. When war finally broke out, it was the same old military story. The Colonial hotheads marched to war with 6,800 men, too little money, way too little training, too much self-confidence and too little respect for their enemies. Strangely enough, before the war broke out, the man who had instigated it above any other, Sir Theophilus Shepstone, asked the Boers in the Transvaal whether they would be prepared to join the British in vanquishing the Zulus. After all, the Zulus had been their age-old enemies since the days before Blood River, and since the Zulus had murdered 500 innocent settlers at Moordspruit and Blaauwkrantz, and treacherously murdered their leader, Pieter Retief and his men. But there was also another reason why he thought the Boers would be prepared to fill up his dangerously small ranks. Many Boers, after all, believed themselves to be a remnant of the so-called "lost ten tribes of Israel." As such, they considered it their divine right to conquer the Promised Land and to drive the heathen from it if God should permit it to happen in this manner. This was something, which Shepstone believed to be a potentially very useful view amongst his allies. But to Shepstone's intense disappointment, a Boer general received Shepstone cordially enough, listened to the request, and then basically told him: "Give us back our independence, and we will conquer Zululand for you. Deny us our freedom, and you will not only fight alone, but you will learn the motherof lessons at the hand of the Zulu." Needless to say, there was no deal, and when the British army marched out in three gigantic columns, stretching across the rolling hills for miles upon miles, the redcoats were marching without allies. The Boers had long since had a special name for Theophilus Shepstone. They called him Stoffel Slypsteen-or "Stoffel Honing Stone."
When the British commander, lord Chelmsford, finally left Pietermaritzburg for his big campaign, it must have looked like the Israelites as they were heading for the Red Sea. The soldiers marched out to the tune of the old Confederate song, "I'm Leaving Thee In Sorrow, Annie." His 1,000 waggons, nearly 7,000 men, 1,500 tons of supplies, and multitudinous herds of oxen, mules and horses, must have stretched over 30 miles long. Just before his departure, general Paul Kruger had warned him to always laager at night as the Boers did, drawing his wagons in a round circle to afford some protection as at Blood River. But as they rode out, Chelmsford knew that there was no way that 1,000 waggons could be drawn into three laagers once a day. The logistics were simply impossible. As the grand exodus rolled across the beautiful African plains, Chelmsford, who had made his name in the Indian army, must have realized why the Boers had considered Natal to the Promised Land, and why Great Britain had had to annex it. The gently rolling, fertile hills stretched as far as they eye could see. The climate was generally healthy, the region was well-watered by hundreds of streams, and tall mountain ranges, waterfalls, mysterious valleys and alluring mountain forests provided that element of beauty which must have made the hearts of the soldiers sing.
While many of them were merely riff-raff who were marching for a shilling a day and a promise of adventure, many others were also truly good soldiers. Old veterans of the Indian- and north African campaigns. Some were veterans of the Crimean War, and one or two had been one of the legendary heroes who had once boldly charged into the Valley of Death during the famous Charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava. Many were of the best in the British armies. In many ways, perhaps some of the best soldiers in the world, at that time. There were ex-sailors from the British navy, some Scottish adventurers, and groups of Irishmen who were just happy to be in a fight-any kind of a fight. But there were also hordes of Zulus wearing sandals and rags, and armed with old obsolete rifles, or merely just sticks, shields and spears. Most of them had some score or other to settle with the Zulu king and his impis. Others were from different tribes, looking for any opportunity to deal vengeance to the nation which had once slaughtered other tribes until the green land of Natal was literally runing with the blood of the innocent.
For years, the long Tugela River and the Mzinyati-the Buffalo river-had marked the boundary between Natal and Zululand. When Chelmsford's army of brave soldiers and vagabonds crossed into the wild land beyond, they did so in three different groups, far removed from each other. He knew that the Zulus like do attack in a central column, with two fast flanking forces which had to encircle the enemy and crush them from behind and from the sides. Chelmsford was ready for this, en his middle force was the strongest. Armed with rockets, artillery, machine guns and the deadly new Martini-Henry single shot rifle, he was confident that the Zulu army would crumple like a house of cards before his determined soldiers.
It was December in the land of Natal, and although the days were frightfully hot, the country could scarcely have been more beautiful. Over the rolling green plains, cattle grazed, sleek and fat. Flat-crowned Acacia trees dotted the landscape, sweet water bubbled merrily in numerous streams, and in the afternoons, the clouds built up over the Drakensberg and came rolling in like gigantic white cauliflowers, to bring a display of pyrotechnical wonder and light, pouring down torrents of rain, and generally providing a spectacle such as most of the soldiers had never believed could be possible on this planet. Yet, each dawn came with the freshness and beauty of the very first day in Eden. As the humongous army rolled across the waving grassy plains, though, they soon learned that fundamental lesson that Africa is always slyly deceptive in her bountiful beauty. At each river crossing, the heavily-laden wagons churned the drifts into mires into which the vehicles sank away to their axles. At each mountain crossing, wheel and shafts broke. Oxen ate poisonous plants, or caught some of Africa's many strange diseases, and died. The tender European soldiers were soon roasted to the colour of freshly-boiled lobster by a merciless sun. And even though the land flowed with water, it seemed that the army could never get enough to feed its enormous needs. There were no roads in Natal. Only rough wagon tracks, and as over 16,000 hooves trod them, they destroyed them, causing wagons to overturn, break apart, or making it necessary to unload and re-load them constantly. What had been planned to be a jolly outing, was slowly beginning to turn into a nightmare. If only the soldiers had known how much hell was yet to come… But as they were still heading into the land of the Zulu-the children of the heavens-the charming beauty of the land must still have made up for much of the discomfort.
Very slowly, the scarlet-clad lines of soldiers with their huge wagons snaked across the emerald green of the landscape, beneath a cobalt sky so blue it hurt the eyes. In the distance rose a strange-looking hill, the shame of an upturned shoe with one large high basalt heel sticking up straight into the air. They were hunting for an enemy whose whereabouts they did not know, and they were moving with pitiful lack of speed. Even as the soldiers marched along, enjoying the veld flowers and clouds of summer butterflies, their progress was being steadily watched by many sets of dark eyes. Yet, the day was far gone, when the stiff lord Chelmsford ordered a halt in the shadow of Isandhlwana mountain. They were in Zululand now, and it was time to prepare for the night. Perhaps, somewhere in the back of his mind he must have thought back at the advice of the Boer general Piet Joubert and Paul Kruger, who had warned him to always draw a laager at night. But with such a huge army, drawing a laager would have been a full day's job, and fortifying a perimeter of one mile long was clearly out of the question. Yet, the countryside was open and beautiful, and nobody had any serious reason to feel particularly threatened.
As the night began to fall, hundreds of conical white tents were pitched, and one-by-one, myriads of little cooking fires began to blink in the night. Bugles sounded forth their brassy tunes, firewood and fodder was unloaded, and a few men began to line up before the surgeon's tent to have their thorns removed, their sunburn treated, and their cuts bandaged. Night settled upon Isandhlwana like a downy veil, and the word became at peace, even as the last soldiers sang songs about bygone glorious battles, or their homes, mothers and sweethearts back in merry old England. To one side, the oxen were slowly chewing the cud, and peacefully grazing upon the sweet pastures with their tails flicking with pleasure. Nobody could ever have anticipated that the very next day would bring not only a total solar eclipse, but also an eclipse of British army honour and prestige which not even time and subsequent victories would ever wipe out completely.
The battle which would be lost there the next day, was destined to shock the world to its very core. Today's historical accounts mostly fail to mention two things about the battle of Isandhlwana. Firstly, that it was fought during a full solar eclipse, and secondly, of what earth-shaking magnitude its importance had been to the world at that particular time in history. The news of the defeat at Isandhlwana was destined to hit the world media with every inch of the shock and horror which would have resulted if the news should have become known that General Normal Schwatzkopf and his expeditionary force had been all but defeated within a single day during the Gulf War. Such news would have been unthinkable back in the late eighties, just as it was in the year of 1879. Yet, it happened. Isandhlwana was in some ways, perhaps one of the most dramatic battles in modern South African history. It is a story that is still begging to be turned into a Hollywood film one day.
So next week, we shall relive the dramatic tale of how it all ended.
Until then, fairest greetings to all,
Herman
To be continued . . .

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DollarMakers
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Why Canada?

South Africans have options. Stay in SA or emigrate. Where to emigrate to? New Zealand? Australia? England? Europe? The USA?
People ask me why we chose Canada. The United Nations has deemed it the best country to live in for a few years running now. That should be a good enough reason. But let me be specific regarding some of my reasons.

The most important reason was to get out of South Africa while we still could. As we saw things deteriorating, we knew we had to leave before it was too late. For some, it is already too late. All over the world, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to get into countries as immigrants. They are clamping down, raising standards. I was nearly 45 years old. I didn't want to move again. The decision had to be a final one. It's a big thing to emigrate. So we did our homework, and it paid off for us.

So why Canada?

First of all, Canada is like Switzerland in many ways. Apart from the natural beauty, that is. We are seen as being a neutral country. We are friendly with Cuba. As citizens, we don't run the risks that Americans do from international terrorism when we travel. We are seen as a friendly, open, accepting nation by the world.

Secondly, a low crime rate and safe, clean environment. Plus low inflation rate.

Thirdly, LOTS of space, even underpopulated.

Four, huge opportunity. Right next door to the United States, and easy trade with a great exchange rate. NAFTA agreement that is great for Canadian Citizens. 30 million people in Canada, 300 million in the U.S., and Mexico beyond that.

Five, great social services, medical and a social safety net that is second to none.

Sixthly, it's relatively easy to emigrate to Canada.

Seven, most of the population is immigrant. So we are accepting of immigrants and it's easy to settle into the way things work.

Eight, Great climate on the West Coast where I live. Mild, with great outdoor activities throughout the year.

Nine, not the high rate of competition that you find in the U.S., so if you are new to North America, a god springboard to do business in the U.S.

Ten, the best of both worlds. Live in Canada, make money in the U.S., and you're really smart.

We arrived in Canada December 1st, 1997. Never been here before. Four suitcases. Wonderful adventure, and it's never stopped being wonderful. In fact. it just gets better and better!

Yesterday, July 1st 2001, my wife, Rika, and I were made Canadian Citizens. It was a very moving experience. I cried. Out of gratitude, mainly. What a wonderful privilege to be able to start your life all over again. To live in the most beautiful place on earth, with an unparalleled lifestyle and quality of life. And unlimited opportunity. I hope we have the opportunity to welcome you to Canada one day. It's the best decision you can possibly make.

Robin Elliott. Elliott Enterprises Inc. helps people immigrate to Canada and find jobs here and get into business. www.dollarmakers.com robin@dollarmakers.com

Robin Elliott -The Prophet of Profit
Elliott Enterprises Inc.
Making Your Dreams Come True
Visit our website: www.dollarmakers.com

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Amuzine
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If you want to buy music that is featured in Amuzine or any other South African music for that matter, just click on the banner at the side of this column... you can buy direct from the SAW Web site!

Check out the latest column... it gets updated each week...

Featured Site TOP

Send in any (preferably non-business) SA related sites you have seen.

Dear friends, subscribers, SA music fans & supporters,

At last after weeks of planning, endless cups of coffee, sourcing material and driving the guys at Filter Design bonkers the new Fresh Music web site is up and running so why don't you check us out at www.freshmusic.co.za for tons of music, photos, rare memorabilia, bios, gig guides and cool downloadable stuff...there is a current artist page as well as an extensive Retro section which will be constantly updated. A couple of the features are not active yet like the video section as well as the band emails and contact addresses but these will be up and running shortly.

Any comments, snide remarks, applause or free advice is most welcome... mail me at fresh@icon.co.za

Have a fresh day!
Benjy Mudie

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Since Esta TerBlanche in the near future will be seen again on SA TV in the soap All My Children, I figured I would submit my site which is dedicated to the actress.

http://www.geocities.com/estagillian

Many thanks
Julie Morgan
"The Esta TerBlanche FanClub" estagillian@yahoo.com

The Legal beagle TOP

Our Legal Beagles are available for all your relevant queries... please continue to send in any queries you have for them and we will get them answered for you free of charge!

We have expanded our circle of helpers to include New Zealand and Europe. Remember that sometimes it takes a while for the relevant 'Legal Beagle' to answer. Also please remember that the advice is offered as a free service, THOS and SAW are not personally responsible for the content.

Remember to check out questions and answers on the Web site before you send your query in - it might be the question you are wanting to ask!

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Legal Beagle South Africa - Investment and Tax
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Gooday

Has the residence-based taxation bill been passed yet? If so, how does that affect me as I've recently returned from a working holiday and have accumulated savings (which I've already been taxed on in that country).

If I am to be taxed can you suggest whether either of the options below are suitable
1) repatriation of these funds
or
2) applying for exemption of tax(is this done, and under what circumstances?)

Regards.

There is no residential tax bill - what has been proposed is that South Africans will be taxed on their world income as opposed to income generated from a South African source. I am not sure if the amendments to the Income Tax Act have been passed by Parliament yet.

However, there are double taxation agreements in force with a number of countries, the objective being to ensure that income is not taxed twice. The main reason for the taxation of non- SA income is to tax income on offshore investments. Tax legislation has not been retrospective (i.e. a guiding principle of tax law is certainty) and loopholes are always closed after the event.

Your savings will not be taxed and your only obligation in future will be to declare any income less any tax paid in the country where the investment is held. You are also allowed to hold up to R750 000 offshore so there is no need to repatriate this money unless there is an excess. Practically many SA residents hold much greater sums off shore although this contravenes exchange control regulations.

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Legal Beagle South Africa
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Work Permits Applications In Respect Of Foreign Nationals Legally Married To
South African Citizens / Permanent Residents

Whilst I have previously reported on various developments arising from the Makinama and Booysen judgements of the Cape High Court and pursuant Constitutional Court judgements regarding the residence status and subsequent "right" to work of foreign nationals married to South African citizens/permanent residents, a certain degree of confusion continued to reign regarding the practical application of the Court judgements.

This situation has however now been clarified by the issuance of Passport Control Instruction number 23 of 2001 by the Director-General of Home Affairs.

In terms of this Passport Control Instruction (flowing from the Court order in the Makinama versus Minister of Home Affairs matter) the Department of Home Affairs has issued a directive as follows:

Directing that its offices accept application for work permits from any foreign non resident spouse of a South African citizen/permanent resident, lodged in the Republic of South Africa.
To also accept applications for extension of work permits of such foreign non resident spouses of a South African citizen/permanent resident, to be lodged in the Republic of South Africa.
To consider and finalise such applications within a period of thirty working days after the date of the application. A direct implication of this provision is that Regional and District offices of the Department of Home Affairs may finalise such applications i.e. they do not need to be referred onto Head Office of the Department for finalisation.
The application fee in respect of such applications and/or extensions thereof is waived.
Applications by foreign nationals married to South African citizens/permanent residents for work permits may not be refused unless there is good cause to do so. The fact that the applicant is likely to pursue an occupation for which there is a sufficient number of persons available in the Republic of South Africa shall not in itself constitute a good cause. (It remains to be seen what will be defined as "good cause").
As a direct consequence of the above it is no longer required that the position offered to the foreign national spouse has to be advertised.
The Department of Labour also need not be approached.

It is important to note that the above directives only apply to foreign national spouses married to South African citizens/permanent residents who have applied for or have formally indicated their intention to apply for immigration permits. It is therefore a requirement that the foreign national spouse must therefore produce proof that an application for an immigration permit has been lodged or provide a formal indication in writing of his/her intention to lodge such an application.

For the aforementioned reason, after the work permit has been issued to the foreign national spouse, he or she has a period of not more than ninety working days to lodge an application for an immigration permit otherwise such work permit will not be readily extended.

The above information radically changes the situation which previously prevailed in respect of foreign nationals married to South Africans and is immediately in effect.

Should you require assistance or further information please do not hesitate to contact our office.

Julian Pokroy
Attorney At Law
Immigration Specialist

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Legal Beagle USA
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Hi
I have just finished my 3rd year at the University of South Carolina. When I got accepted I received permission to study here for 5 years (F1 Visa). However, the visa in my passport is going to expire in August and I would like to know how I would go about renewing it. Where do I go? And about how long will it take?

Thank you for your time.

Totsiens,

Bryan

Dear Bryan,

Thank you for your inquiry. If you do not have plans to travel in the next 2 years, you do not have to get a visa in your passport. As long as you have a valid I-20 from you school and I-94 Departure Record in your passport marked F-1 D/S (duration of status), you can remain in the US while studying and for 60 days after completion of studies. However, if you intend to travel, you will need to get a visa put into your passport. This can be done at most US consulates throughout the world including at the US Consulate in South Africa. You can go on-line to the various consulates in Mexico and Canada and see if you can get an appointment to have the visa entered in your passport.

The advantage of travelling to an adjacent country to the US is that you can return to the US within 30 days even if the Consulate declines the visa. This you cannot do if you are declined a visa in a country which is not contiguous to the US. Please bear in mind that you will have to demonstrate financial stability to get the visa, ie.: prove that you have the financial means to support yourself and pay for your studies. You will also need to demonstrate that you intend to return to your home country after completing your studies.

Regards,

Paul
----------------

Dear Maureen:

I have a small request to make from the legal beagle: Is it necessary to travel back to South Africa to get the H1B visa put in the passport? Can it be done in Canada? I have been issued a work permit or H1B documentation (it is already two years old), but I have been told that I need to go to South Africa to have "the visa" stamped into my passport. I have had no trouble travelling to Canada with the document in my passport as there is a reciprocal treaty with the USA that allows the holder of the H1B documentation to travel back and forth.

However I have been told that if I leave North America and travel anywhere else I will need to go to SA to hand in all the documentation and wait for the Consul to issue the visa.

I am inquiring as there is an opportunity for me to travel to Europe in November 2001 and I do not want to jeopardise my chances of getting back to work in the USA.
Could the legal beagle let me know what the situation is?

Ros

Dear Ros,

It is not necessary for you to go back to South Africa to get the H visa put in your passport. You can get the visa done in Canada or in Mexico. You can also have the visa put in your passport at most U.S. consulates around the world. The advantage to going to Canada or Mexico is that you can never be stuck outside the country. There is a 30-day validation rule which allows you to return to the U.S. from a neighbouring country to the U.S. even on an expired Visa. If a person goes to a consulate away from North America and there is a problem in getting the Visa at the consulate, you will be stuck and unable to return to the US. This generally does not happen and if you're satisfied that you have a strong H.1B case, then you should not worry about getting the Visa at a consulate which is not in Canada or Mexico.

Whenever you apply for a visa at a consulate, you are requested to produce proof of your current employment and it is always the possible that the consulate will try and readjudicate the case. I would only be concerned about this if you're H visa status is marginal and problematic. You will want to take with you the original approval later and proof of current employment with your sponsor and all original supporting documents.

Regards,

Paul

Nothing for the other Legal Beagles this week - so keep sending in your queries for them (UK, Australia, New Zealand, Dubai, Europe, Canada as well as the USA and South Africa) to answer free of charge!

Help Desk Question/s of the Week TOP

Please remember that these 'pleas for help' are published in good faith. I print them for you to read and choose to answer or not.

If you have info on any shops in Israel that cater for our SA needs it would be much appreciated

Hi

One of the letters was from someone who wanted to know about a good charitable organisation to put some money into.

Well, I think IFLEND, a small organisation that lends money (R300 to each of 5 people in a community) interest free to the poorest of the poor in South Africa, so that they can start up a small business to support themselves and their families, is really worthwhile. The founders, Grace Longmire and Helen Mekie, can be contacted at iflend@mweb.co.za

Barbara Logan
greytiedeer@xtra.co.nz

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Could you advise if there are any South Africans living in the Houston area near the Woodlands? I would appreciate if you could let me know.

Thanks

Alex
Alexis Mitchell
AMitchell@cmc.gov.za

----------------

Hi Maureen

Please add this to the next newsletter if possible.

Thanks so much.

Lyn

A rather unusual opportunity that may just fit someone's need at the moment...

A reputable and established Civil Engineering business in Uganda is looking for a Contract Manager and Field Engineer. The son of the owner of this business is a friend of mine in the US. Contact me at mhopkins2@home.com

---------

Dear Maureen

Thank you for the great newsletter. I really look forward to it and it is always interesting. I hope you will be able to carry this letter for me.

My family is made up of my husband and me, three children aged, almost 4, almost 13 and 16. My husband and I left SA in October 1993, came to the UK for 18 months, then spent 2 years in Holland. At this time, the two teenagers were still living in SA with their mother (they are my step children) and the almost 4 year old didn't exist. We came back to the UK in April 1997 and have been here since then. The teenagers came to join us in
April 1999 and the almost 4 year old arrived on earth in July 1997. As you can see, we have been pretty busy!

There is a potential work transfer on the horizon for my husband which will mean a relocation from the UK to New Jersey. We are pleased about this as I have my family members there. They have of course given me loads of information, but as my nieces and nephews are grown up now, my sister is not quite as in touch with things that I will need to get involved in based on the ages of my children. (I think of my stepchildren as my own).

We are looking at the areas of Rockaway and Denville. I would love to make contact with any ex-SA'cans who feel they can give me useful feedback and pointers. Schools, social activities, SA clubs, etc. I know from the moves we have made previously, it is always such a help to connect with people who have children of similar ages. The sooner the children can make friends, the easier the whole process is for them. I too would love to meet South Africans while becoming a member of my potentially new community.

I would welcome email at dawnlevin@aol.com
Thank you very much!

Dawn Levin

PLEASE NOTE: If you have a query for a Legal Beagle please send it to me at saw@thos.co.za, do not put it on the Help Desk. I do not have the time to check out your queries each day and I am the one who has to send them on to the Legal Beagles... they also do not check our Help Desk on a regular basis!

If you have a problem with your password or want to change your email address or any other details, do not put your query on the Help Desk... you can change them yourself by going to the SAW site and following 'instructions'.

+--SAW advertisement--------------------------------------------------+

Do you have a business geared to South Africans?
Have a great service to tell them about?

We can help you put your message across to over 14 000 South African families!

Contact SAW for more details regarding advertising in SAWmail
or on the SAW Web site!

saw@thos.co.za or http://www.saw.co.za

+--SAW advertisement--------------------------------------------------+

Where are they now? TOP

Does anyone out there know where Peter Lennon is now? Peter was at school in Pretoria in the eighties, then they emigrated to the UK - perhaps Norwich at one stage - and nobody back here seems to know any contact information. I'd really appreciate your help.

Deborah
Hbbrd-da@hornet.vista.ac.za

Club and Other News TOP

Club details are up on the SAW site! If you have a club (with or without a Web site) and your club isn't listed, just go to the SAW site and fill them all in! Easy as that!

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Western Australia - Perth
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Social Evenings - Every second Friday of the month, from 7 pm.
Where? Dutch Club, 230 Cambridge Street, Wembley (next to the BP service station)
We have drinks at club prices and hot meals available.

Up Coming Events:

Friday - 13 July
We are having a joint pub night with the Rhodesians. Join us for good company, good food and Live Music !! Bring your dancing shoes !!

Friday - 10 August
RUGBY FEVER !!!!!
Dress for the occasion in your favourite rugby jersey/ hat/ scarf & get into the mood watching a re-run of the 1995 World Cup.

ATTENTION !! ATTENTION !!
The South African Club is in the process of organising a block booking at the rugby game between SA vs Australia.
Subiaco Oval - 18 August - Tickets $ 40,55.
Phone Schonia at 9358 3338 or the club at 9309 9906

Friday 14 September
Blues Evening - Live Band $25 per couple including a hot meal!!
" When you got a man and a woman, you got the blues "

For more info - call Varina 9497 4402
Club website - www.saclubwa.iinet.net.au
Email - saclubofwa@hotmail.com

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Music - Feeding a nation's soul
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This from the New York Times by Thebe Mabanga

The news that the Soweto String Quartet is about to record its fourth album has provoked excitement and apprehension.
The excitement comes from the fact that the Khemese brothers Reuben, Sandile and Thami and childhood friend Makhosini Mnguni are to work with acclaimed pianist and producer Don Laka.
Explaining their choice of Laka, this year's male artist winner at the South African Music Awards, principal violinist Reuben says: "Don has been classically trained like us, he is versatile. We worked with him on Lucky Dube's [Taxman], he is good with strings and is a fine musician."
The signs are looking good. For all three of their previous albums the group has always started by recording accompaniment and then followed with their string section. But for their fourth, as yet untitled, album the strings came first.
The quartet's appeal to date has been fuelled by political expediency: four black South African men who scaled the height of a craft perceived to be elitist and Eurocentric, interpreting African traditional classics. Their repertoire rests largely on the cover versions ranging from the national anthem, Nkosi Sikilel' iAfrika to Kwela and the beautiful Weeping, featuring the "Voice of Mamelodi", Vusi Mahlasela.
Their album titles tap into the psyche of a nation trying to find itself. Their debut Zebra Crossing, released in the year of the ushering in our democracy and harmoniously depicting black and white, the two races that are always at each other's throats. Their next release Renaissance, grabbed on to a concept that was in vogue. There are no prizes for guessing in which year year Millennia was released.
Khemese rightly says the quartet plays cover versions for the audience to have something familiar to relate to. Well and good, but like everything else about the new South Africa, the novelty is wearing off. The cover version has served its purpose, it is time to be bold and move away from extensive dependence on familiar sounds.
In all fairness, the process of being more original was started on Millennia, where 11 of the 13 tracks were the quartet's original compositions. But this has not been carried through to their signature. The quartet is still largely known for songs like Imbube, one of the most popular Zulu folk songs, Weeping and the national anthem.
Which is why it is heartening to hear Khemese marvel at the very idea of being a composer. "I have always thought of myself as an instrumentalist not as a composer," he says, "which is why I am excited about the fact that all four of us have contributed compositions to the 12 (original) tracks we have laid down so far."
Parts of the album have a sombre vibe. In a sneak preview for the Mail & Guardian, the quartet presented a sound that feels relaxed. If they continue their propensity to feed on a nation's mood, they might just call it A Lullaby for Nkosi and dedicate it to Nkosi Johnson.
"When you listen to the album you'll notice we have drifted a bit," says Khemese. "We sought to retain what has made us familiar but give it more swing." That calls for a mandatory appearance by Laka on piano. "We live in these times and whatever people like influences your thoughts," he notes.
The international circuit remains the group's ultimate stomping ground. Last month they were in Canada and after a week of concerts they jammed in a finale that featured Sibongile Khumalo and Jabu Khanyile. It's about to get better.
They now jet off on a United Kingdom tour that will see Khemese return to Scotland, a place where he and brother Sandile received classical music training in the early 1980s. There they will perform at the Edinburgh Arts Festival to spice up Europe's sizzling summer of culture.
Their first jaunt to the UK came in the late 1970s when they were chosen to study classical music at the Darlington College of music in England after a tour of Aberdeen with the Soweto Symphony Orchestra. Reuben returned after a two-year stint and Sandile returned after a further five.
His enthusiasm rubbed on his younger brother Thami and Mnguni and thus they set off to a decade-long journey whose turning point came in 1994. Now they are the toast of royalty and Nelson Mandela's choice as the "Rainbow Nation's finest musical ambassadors".

The Soweto String Quartet's as yet untitled album will be released in August

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Australia - Melbourne - Abdullah Ibrahim with the NDR Big Band
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This from

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,2125816%255E11969,00.html

Abdullah Ibrahim with the NDR Big Band
Reviewer: KENNY WEIR 17jun01

Ekapa Lodumo Abdullah Ibrahim with the NDR Big Band (Enja Records/Newmarket Music)

The serenely soul-stirring compositions of Abdullah Ibrahim have long reflected the twin influences of the pianist's South African homeland and his many experiences in the wide world of jazz. Wrapping those simple and simply beautiful melodies in big-band arrangements was surely a daunting challenge, one at which Germany's NDR Big Band has excelled on this delightful live album.

The temptation of indulging in modern big band overkill is thoroughly rejected and the stately grandeur of Ibrahim's music is captured perfectly by the band, which makes the most of arrangements that speak of wide open spaces.

The brilliant soloists never let their technical skills get in the way of producing a broad soundscape that remains true to the soul of its creator's intentions.

Ibrahim himself takes a back seat on a series of lengthy, mostly languid vamps, punctuated by a 16-minute African Marketplace that would be just at home on the streets of New Orleans as in the dancehalls of Cape Town.

Abdullah Ibrahim performs at the Melbourne Concert Hall on Friday, July 20.

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UK - First Afrikaans Festival outside southern Africa UKkasie
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THE Afrikaans Occasion in the UK

Great Britain is one of the most cosmopolitan countries in the world, and so it is no surprise that thousands of South Africans living in the UK (and there are many!) and Europe will be gathering for the first Afrikaans Arts and Culture Festival - UKkasie - outside southern Africa in July.

Yes, from 26-29 July the Wembley Conference Centre will throb with South African arts, culture, music, traditional food, drinks, celebrities, crafts and arts market, children's activities and much, much more. This UK occasion (UKkasie) promises to be one of the biggest South African events on this island with the cream of South African artists performing.

The UKkasie Arts and Culture Festival is organised by UKkasie Ltd, the trading arm of a trust serving the interest of the Afrikaans speaking community in the UK. All profits from the festival will go, amongst other cultural, social and other causes, towards the establishment of a Christian Afrikaans Language school in England. The festival committee comprises a voluntary group of people who love the language Afrikaans and who realised the need for a cultural event amongst fellow South Africans. They are all donating and devoting their time and expertise to an extremely important cause - Afrikaans.

To book a show, get more information on accommodation or directions, participate in the arts and crafts market, enter the boerewors or potjiekos competition, perform your art, or play in one of the sports team competitions, please contact Maryna Blomerus at 01480 450838, or write an email to saclubofwa@hotmail.com or visit the website at www.ukkasie.com

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USA - Florida
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Here in the South West of Florida, USA, in the Tampa Bay area, we have a club that organises a "Braai" twice a year, one in spring and the other in the fall (autumn). These gatherings are held in an enormous and very beautiful park overlooking Tampa Bay, where we use one of the huge open sided shelters available which are equipped with all the Braai facilities together with long wooden tables and benches. We all wear name tags and new comers have a coloured dot on their name tags, so that they can easily be identified and made to feel welcome. In addition a ladies coffee evening is held every second month at a members home and many new and lasting friendships have been formed at both these events.

Prior to each Braai taking place, a "Newsletter for the South African Community of Tampa Bay" called BRAAI NEWS is published and mailed to all members.

If you want to publish the details of this club, anyone coming to live in this area, or already living here and who is not aware of the Braai Club, can contact:

Noleen Naude (Organiser), P O Box 4811, Clearwater, FL 33758 or telephone (727) 535-4515. Email: noleen@tampabay.rr.com

Written submissions and advertisements can be sent to The Editor of the Braai News, Sharon Bond at P O Box 3711, St Petersburg, FL 33731. Tel: (727) 502-0867 She can also be contacted by e-mail: Zebra@ozline.net

As "pond-hoppers" all know, relocating to a new country and different culture, can be quite traumatic, so a friendly back-up system is always welcome.

I give new members your e-mail address, so that they can, if they wish, become members of SAWmail and enjoy your Newsletter and have the benefit of all the information you publish.

Regards, Mags

What We're Up To TOP

Well... at last you can read SAWmail without logging on the SAW site!! Just go to www.saw.co.za and before you even log in you will see the SAWmail icon on the splash page... so just one click and you can read the current issue in full, download it to Word and read it later... print it out... whatever is your fancy. No links as yet but that will come with the new site.

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As you might be aware, we now have two versions of SAWmail... let us know if you would like to receive the html version.

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You can now subscribe to SAWmail directly from the SAW Web site... just go to
http://www.saw.co.za and there you will see the 'subscribe to SAWmail' box. So...
Tell your friends where to go!

Humour TOP

If you were wondering why I haven't used a joke you sent in; some of the jokes
I receive are just not suitable for general publication. So send me suitable jokes and I will publish them and acknowledge their origin.

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Quotables
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This from Errol and Melanie Rink rink@alphalink.com.au

· I don t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs. - Sam Goldwyn
· When I bore people at a party, they think it is their fault. - Henry Kissinger
· My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada. - David Steinberg
· I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up - they have no holidays. - Henny Youngman
· Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their Breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one. - Mel Brooks
· The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish. - Jules Farber
· God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn't you choose somebody else for a change? - Shalom Aleichem
· The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin
· Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us 40 years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil! - Golda Meir
· Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother. - Peter Malkin
· My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. - Benjamin Disraeli
· It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson
· I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks. - Joe E. Lewis
· Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants' pocket and give your coat to your creditors. - Sam Goldwyn
· A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Sam Goldwyn
· I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason
· I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen
· Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx
· A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it. - Oscar Levant
· Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair. - George Burns
· Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. - Mort Sahl
· A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

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Quite the best children's humour
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This from Sharon Waddington shazzz@yebo.co.za

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

After a church service one Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service:
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.
"But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

Recipes TOP

Seeing as it is still strawberry picking time here in New England, here's another recipe with the wondrous strawberry included. I have not tried this one myself yet but it seems easy to do.

Creamed Strawberry Rice

250g strawberries
2 cups white rice
2 cups hot water
2 cups milk
1/3 cup sugar

Mash half the strawberries with a fork, reserve remaining strawberries for decorating. Wash rice, drain well. Place rice in shallow dish with water and milk, microwave on HIGH 20 mins or until rice has absorbed all the liquid - stir occasionally during cooking. Stir in sugar and mashed strawberries, reheat on HIGH 2 mins. Serve hot or cold with cream and reserved strawberries.

Weekly Sport Roundup TOP

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Venus proves she's from a different planet
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Defending champion Venus Williams overpowered Belgian teenager Justine Henin to win the Wimbledon women's title 6-1 3-6 6-0, proving in the deciding set that when she is determined to pile on the pressure, she has no equal for strength and athletic ability in the women's game.
http://www.iol.co.za/general/newsview.php?click_id=4&art_id=ct20010708181005710V520565&set_id=6

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Chiefs win Vodacom challenge on penalties
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South African glamour club Kaizer Chiefs defeated Ghana's Asante Kotoko 3-2 in a penalty shoot-out to win the Vodacom Challenge final, after the teams played to a goalless stalemate after full time in Durban. Goalkeeper Brian Baloyi was the hero of the day, making two crucial saves after misses by Jabu Pule and Arthur Zwane.
http://www.iol.co.za/general/newsview.php?click_id=4&art_id=qw99460806441B226&set_id=6

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Mthalane registers hard-earned TKO
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South African junior featherweight champion Innocent Mthalane overpowered Themba Tshicila to retain his national title with an 11th-round technical knockout at the Arena in Durban.
http://www.iol.co.za/general/newsview.php?click_id=4&art_id=qw994614421303B212&set_id=6

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Australia crush England in first Ashes Test
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Australia notched up victory over England by an innings and 118 runs shortly after lunch on the fourth day of the First Test at Edgbaston as the home team collapsed in familiar fashion, their last seven wickets going down for 22 runs in 63 balls.
http://www.iol.co.za/general/newsview.php?click_id=4&art_id=qw994601581866B262&set_id=6

Are you a member of a local sporting club? Would you like your results published in SAWmail and/or on the SAW Web site? Please send the details of your club to me at the usual address... saw@thos.co.za

For direct correspondence, send me a message at saw@thos.co.za That's it folks! See you next week.
Maureen

Subscribing & Unsubscribing TOP